Page 66 of Tall, Dark, & Ginger

“It seems like it’s possible your mother has projected her resentment of your father onto you as the male representation of him.”

“But it wasn’t my fault he left. It’s not my fault I look like him.”

“No, it’s not your fault. What would it look like for you to talk to your mother and sister about how they’ve made you feel?”

I scoff at that. “Not happening.”

Maisy nods, silently watching me for a moment. My thoughts drift from my mom to Trent and my chest tightens as my jaw drops.

“Shit,” I whisper.

“What’s on your mind, Wren?”

A sinking feeling settles over me as realization seizes me. “Oh god. Trent is just like my mom.”

“Tell me more about that.”

“He used my weaknesses against me to keep me close. Made me believe I needed him. My mom did that too. She would tell me I was so lucky to have a mother like her who prayed for my soul. Trent would tell me I was lucky to have him taking care of everything so I could chase my silly little dreams of being a chef. Every time I tried to pull away, he would love bomb me and convince me he loved me, and I fell for it so many times.”

“What do you think you might have been chasing with Trent?”

The answer stabs my chest like a thousand daggers. “Love. Acceptance.” My eyes well with tears. “But it was fake. It was control and it was just like what my mother did, wrapped up in something that seemed like salvation. Trent gave me a haven from my mother and I thought that meant something different than it did. He saw my weakness and he exploited it.”

Tears stream down my cheeks as the truth swirls around me.

“I left one abuser for another one. Not just Trent either. There were others like him. He just lasted the longest.”

Maisy nods. “How do you feel seeing these similarities between your family life and dating experiences?”

“Stupid.” I grab a tissue and wipe my nose. “Scared.”

“Of what?”

“Repeating it. I’m seeing this guy now who’s amazing, but what if he’s not? What if I just want him to be? Like I wanted all the others to be? What if he’s waiting to take me down a notch?”

“How long have you known him?”

“A year and a half, but we’ve only been seeing each other for a few months. It started out casual, but I think it might be more than that now.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I see him every day. I live with him. Not just him; a bunch of us live in a big mansion, and he’s technically one of my bosses, but it’s a unique experience.”

“Tell me more about that.”

“I heard from others that he had a crush on me, and one night, I was thinking wouldn’t it be amazing to be with someone who wasn’t Trent. Physically, you know?”

She nods.

“So I asked him if he wanted to and he did. I thought it would be a few times maybe and we’d just chalk it up to a little fun, but I couldn’t stay away from him. I feel good around him.”

“In what way?”

“I think he sees me. Me. He’s funny and thoughtful. He’s kind and he’s a good friend. He’s sexy too, but he makes me feel like I’m somebody who matters. He looks at me like I hung the stars.”

“Has he shown any red flag behavior? Any controlling ways?”

I shake my head. “He’s so chill. I can’t imagine him being that way.”

---