Page 199 of Kissing the Villain

Not me.

He deserved her.

You owe him.

I pushed them together, letting this happen because I wanted to protect her from the Albanians. They were coming for her soon.

“Luca,” Kali muttered. “You need to stop doing this to yourself. Stop with the games and tell her how you feel.”

Nothing.

I feel nothing.

Dead on the inside.

A black hole in place of my heart.

“Shut the fuck up.” I set the bottle on the table. “Stay out of my business, Kali.”

I’d known Kali since our senior year of high school. Most of the time, she was easygoing and never gave me shit. She usually had good advice about Alex. But I hadn’t forgotten the three years we spent looking for her after she ran from my brothers. Otherwise, she was like family.

“You made it our business by inviting us to this party.”

Stop challenging me, woman.

“It’s one night. She’ll come crawling back to me tomorrow.”

Alex always came back to me. Even when I was an unbearable asshole, she still wanted me. Took my abuse. She knew who owned her body, heart, and soul.

“I don’t know about that,” Kali hissed. “This was low, even for you. She’s going to be your wife.”

My gaze shifted to Damian, then Bastian, my top lip quivering. “Get her out of here before I strangle her.”

They left without another word, knowing better than to challenge me when I was losing fucking control. My hand twitched from a tremor that made my left hand unsteady. This wasn't good. Something I’d gotten rid of years ago. In this state, I was a danger to everyone in this room—even myself.

You’re insane, motherfucker.

I gripped the edge of the chair to steady my hand and took another sip of scotch. My eyes darted to Drake. “Turn up the music.” Then I glanced at Sonny, my hand raised. “Get over here with the blow.”

Drake reached for a remote on the table beside him. Seconds later, rap music cranked through the speakers. The lights dimmed. Drinks and drugs flowed throughout the room.

I wanted to be numb.

Dead to the fucking world.

“Venom” by Eminem rocked through the room. I loved this fucking song. Dropping into an armchair, I put my foot on the coffee table. Sonny and Drake moved to the couch beside me with another bottle of scotch and a glass plate of coke.

“I said knock knock, let the devil in,” I mouthed Eminem’s words, bobbing my head to the beat.

The Devil had possessed my ass a long time ago. I needed an exorcism to rid myself of my demons. Nothing could cleanse my soul after all the sins I had committed.

Drake slid the bottle in front of me, and I took a long sip of my favorite scotch. The burn. I loved it.

Sonny handed me a rolled-up hundred-dollar bill with a smirk. “Happy birthday, asshole.”

With a wink, I took the money from him. I leaned forward to snort a line and went back to not giving a fuck.

Dead.

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