Page 49 of Speak

My want, myneedfor Damon, has been planted, rooted, and twisted so deeply inside of me, that when he leans into my kiss, and his lips trap mine, it is everything and more. Damon Archer tastes like cinnamon and kissing him feels like every atom of your being is imploding and my heart caves and constricts in my chest. I inaudibly moan into his mouth, gasping, needing more and he gives it, teeth, tongue, lips, it’s raw and all-consuming and if he asked for my soul, I’d give it so willingly, because he already has my heart and my mind. I can feel him thickening underneath me when he pulls me closer into his arms, my towel loosens and drops around us.

I don’t care. I want this. Him. Now. Forever.

He tugs his lips away from me and I almost whine at the loss of him. “Raven, little bird. Wait.”

I look into his silver hooded eyes, pupils blown out with lust.

“I won’t take you like this. As much as I want to, you’re weak and I’ll hurt you.”

I shake my head, pulling his lips back to me. Desperate.

“Raven, Raven, listen, please, Amourette.”Little love.He pulls my arms off of him from the crease in my elbows and I tug the towel back up around me, and get off of his lap, to which he hisses when he sees my pussy. “You have no idea how badly I want to take you, Raven. I want to fuck you every way to Sunday and back again…twice. I want to fuck you so hard you forget your name and I forget how to breathe. But your body… you’ve been mistreating yourself. Come here, look.”

He tugs at me, pulling the IV pole along as he makes me stand in front of the full-length mirror hanging in my closet and points to my face. My chapped lips, my cheekbones, down to ribcage, his fingers falling to my hip bones and last he turns me sideways and counts the vertebras that are protruding. Not in a healthy way. In a sickly way that proves I’ve been starving myself, eating my sleeping pills instead of food so I don’t have to feel anything.

My punishment to myself for hurting Jonas.

“You were doing so good, Raven. What happened?”

I look away from the mirror, from his gaze, ashamed. He kisses my temple and guides me back to my bed.

“I’m going to order you some soup, okay? You need to eat. You need to take care of yourself, because quite frankly, pretty girl, I know what you’re planning.”

My eyes snap to his. I don’t want to eat. I deserve to waste away into nothing. I am nothing.

“You’re going to need your strength for what you’re about to do. Do you hear me?”

I turn my head away but he turns my head by the chin with his thumb before I can.

“I’ve been doing research of my own. The Prescott’s and other members of the Syndicate? They only gather all together during big family events. Christenings, weddings…funerals. If you want to get to Tyler Prescott, keep your little show of hurting for just a little while longer but do not starve yourself. Do you hear me? You will nolonger neglect yourself. Shave your pussy, don’t shave your pussy, gain all your weight back or don’t. But you will not letthis,” he points to my weakened body and then taps my temple, “ever happen again.” He bends and kisses my lips, “Do you understand?”

I nod.

“Good girl. I have to go now. As much as I don’t want to leave you, they all saw me come in. If I never leave, they’ll ask questions and think me an inappropriate doctor.”

I almost snort, my smile brushes against his lips. My first smile in over a week. Maybe longer. I can’t remember. My days have fused together in my self-punishment.

“That’s my girl. Eat the soup, only take half of the pill because you’ll have to wean yourself off of them all over again. Yes, I know about that, too, and get some rest. Fuck your classes tomorrow, I’ll send your teachers an excuse of absence. Remember, I’m always watching. I’ll know if you disobey. So be my good girl or you won’t like the consequences.”

His timbre and his words remind me so much of Maverick I almost feel guilty. After watching me dress in an old RMU sweatshirt and white cotton panties. “I love these, by the way.” He says, poking at my slit. Damon kisses me one last time, removing the needle to the empty IV bag carefully, and then walks out of my room, taking the pole with him.

_______

Half an hour later, a slight knock comes at my door and before I can pull on some pants to answer the delivery person with my soup, none other than motherfuckingChasestrides in, kicking his expensive sneakers off, wearing black sweatpants and a too tight Henley showcasing his muscles. Damon must’ve left the door unlocked. I tense and go to my drawer for some sweatpants.

“Don’t bother, Spooks. Just get in bed and eat the fucking soup.” His voice is thick as I bend to climb into my bed I hear him inhale. He hands me the container of soup and instead of leaving me be, he slides into bed with me, over the comforter and grabs the remote to turn on the TV. When I look over at him he flashes me oneof those creepy perfect smiles and clicks on some documentary about a football player.

“Doctors orders.”

I arch an eyebrow as I open the container and a burst of the most delicious chicken noodle soup I’ve ever smelled hits my nostrils. My mouth waters instantly. But I hesitate. I don’t want to puke again.

“It’s not fucking poisoned, Spooks, goddammit, look.” He shoves the spoon into the soup and then into his mouth aggressively swallowing it down. He hands me the spoon but I look at it. He rolls his eyes. “I don’t eat pussy unless I really like the girl, and it’s been a really long time that I’ve actually liked someone. So, it’s safe. There’s no herpes on it, I promise.”

I scrunch up my nose. That thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. I throw the spoon across the room.Wash it, bitch.

He blinks at me. “You’re fucking infuriating. I can’t believe I got put on babysitting duty. I could be upstairs getting laid right now. Cecilia is always hot and willing and readily available for me to sink my cock into her. Any hole me or Jonas want.”

I point at the spoon, not letting him get to me. Besides, I’m happy for Jonas. Cecilia is a good match for him. She’s not planning murder or nefarious things, I think. Chase gets up with a sigh, grabs the spoon and goes to my bathroom to wash it, coming back to me with an annoyed look on his face and hands it to me, settling back in my bed. I smile the most sarcastic smile I can muster at him as a thanks.

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