Page 139 of Speak

Rage.

It's a fury that burns so hot it makes me feel so fucking sick to my stomach and feels like needles under my skin.

"Why?" This time I ask in a hushed whisper. "I w-w-was her friend."

His eyes widen, still connected with mine, glittering with unshed tears. Another body wracking sob escapes him, "Because Tyler-"

I rush to him, slapping him. "I was her friend!" I state clearly, this time without a stutter, like the rage boiling inside of me has no time for mistakes.

Only precision.

"Because she was jealous! Of you!Alwaysjealous of you. Your family. Your money. Your beauty. The fact you thought you were so much better than everyone else.”

I never once thought that I was better than anyone else. I just wanted to create my own life, my own music, my own path. I never wanted this! I just wanted to be free of all these expectations of me, free of disappointing my mother all the time, free of these societal norms, having to hang out with wolves in sheep’s clothing. I wanted to make my own friends that didn’t know about my net worth. I just wanted to make my own fucking destiny… and I was robbed.

I didn’t deserve this.

“She overheard Tyler telling me what he was going to do to you and she volunteered to help. Once she knew there was no way we’d be caught, she wanted in, Raven."

"Why?" I asked again, digging the blade into his forehead, carving a C, crimson trickles down over his brow and Iloveit. It sings to me.

"Fuck, Raven!"

"Why?" I ask again carving an H.

"You really don't know? Augh!"

E.

"You were sold to the Prescott’s!"

My heart plummets.

A.

"Goddammit! You were sold to the Prescott’s but you weren't the Monroe Tyler wanted!"

I never wanted to be a Monroe. I liked being an Alvarez-Paloma. I liked California. I lovedmydad. I didn't choose this. Did Sofia know?

T.

"You dumb, stupid... bitch." Thadd laughs, those creepy violently bright white perfect teeth of his showing bright red, bloodied between parted lips. Lips Ashleigh once gushed about to me. "You really didn't know about the little trade? Axel-"

I stab him, deeply, exactly where I was stabbed except unlike how they did to me, I use all my strength to slide the knife from the side of him, under his ribcage all the way forward. There's a splashing noise and something hits my shoes, well,Ashleigh'sslippers that I’ll put on her feet when I’m done. His entrails are slipping out as he groans.

"Ray," he chokes out. "You can still stop this. You can still save me."

"Like you saved me?" I ask sincerely. God, that music...

"Break her leg... take her down to the ravine..."I croak their words back to him.

The symphony. It’s so beautiful I could cry.

He trembles beneath me, skin paling, his head hangs back, resting on his shoulder. He simply whispers "Ray..."

The music dulls in my mind once more, decreasing softly as the light in his eyes fades.

It's not like in the movies. Thadd's eyes don't close but a tear does leave his eye and I follow its trail until it goes behind his ear. His pupils dilate and his body twitches a final time and then relaxes. I grimace at the mess he makes.

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