Page 99 of Speak

“Look at how beautiful she is!”

“Yes dear, I have eyes. Good job, son.” Jonas laughs at his father, pride shining in his eyes. He bites his lower lip and waggles his eyebrows at me. It’s incredible how similar they look.

“Oh, and this overcoat, Henry!”

“Yes, dear. It sounds like another shopping trip in Paris is in our immediate future… again.”

Elena winks at me like we’re sharing an inside joke. “You must go with us! Oh, we have a penthouse overlooking the Sienne. You’d love it!”

It sounds lovely.I sign and she squeezes my arm.It’s been a long time since I’ve gone. I’d love it if you’d have me.

“Oh, darling, of course we’d have you. Our homes are so lonely these days, with Jonas being at university.”

“Mom.”

He calls hermom.

This time, the music really does begin to play. “Oh, darling, don’t be a stranger, please. I’d love to have you and Jonas over for dinner. What’s your favorite food?”

“Mom.”

“Yes, darling, yes.” Elena kisses my cheek and for some reason, I hope she left a lipstick stain on there the way Sofia used to. Proof I was loved once.

God, my mommy issues are so fucked.

Jonas delivers me to Axel while bending to murmur “As soon as I told her you were signing, she took an ASL course.”

My heart melts, not allowing myself to think that Sofia never showed up to mine. It was only Axel.

Axel guides me by the elbow to sit between him and John and Axel drapes his arm around my shoulder. People go up, one by one, telling stories of Tyler, unsurprisingly all of them took placebeforehis scandal. It’s when Riordan gets up on the podium that I keep my head down, slinking a little further down in my seat. “Tyler… wasn’t perfect. He had flaws and…”

“Fucking hell he gave this speech at Chase’s wake.” Axel leans toward me and whispers. Stunned, I look over at him. “Could you blame him? Nobody here really cares. It’s a fucking mockery. Just another reason for the elite to network and rub elbows with the other elite.” He scoffs.

But I knew what he wasn’t saying. I always knew what he wasn’t saying. ‘Nobody knew him like I did’. He didn’t ask me to be here because he needed someone to entertain him, he had plenty of “friends” around. No, he needed me to be here because someone he loved was dead.

Because Axel Monroe was to bury his heart. OR he’s just as annoyed as I am with this whole charade. I don’t know anymore. I can’t tell the difference. I’m so confused all the time and being here makes me feel so itchy inside.

At the end of the wake, I see Ashleigh and Thadd head to the near-empty hallway toward the bathrooms. I make a motion to Axel to let him know I'm headed to the powder room and slink, softly on the plush carpet from the other side of the room, toward the other exit. I keep my spine along the black wall, pulling on the balaclava that only has one eye hole and try my best to camouflage myself into the background.

I can barely hear their hushed arguing over the goddamn music in my head.

“Do you think she remembers?”

He grabs her roughly by the elbow, “I swear to fuck, Ashleigh. Shut the fuck up!”

I can see he’s still the fucking dick he always was.

“Thadd she looked like she remembered.”

“She didn’t see anything, you idiot. We all wore masks.” He reassures his wife.

Lucky girl, this one. She did always chase after him even after she caught him cheating oh… twelve times. I know this because after the fifth time she threw up in one of my Birkin bags (even though she had her own) I stopped listening to her drown her sorrows at the expense of her liver. It was always so sad and it stopped being fun being her friend when she drank. The less I enabled, the meaner her little indirect comments were. At first, they were about my body. Then it was about my intelligence. My taste in music. My taste in movies. My taste in men. Even asked if I preferred to lick pussy, and if I did, to stay away from hers. As if I’d even want hers. I bet it was as rotten as she was-is.

“Two Prescott’s dead after she shows up? Honey, please tell me you aren’t that stupid.” She scoffs.

“She still can’t talk. Her parents say she refuses to sign.”

“It doesn’t mean she can’t murder people!”

---