Page 9 of Desperate Times

I’d lived in Mulholland Falls most of my life and never set foot on this side of town. It was the roughest of the neighborhoods but held the best restaurants. I always got my food delivered but somehow, I skipped this place. Everyone swore ShaRay’s had the best food around but with it planted dead in the heart of the grimiest hood I kept a polite distance.

The thought of this being the grimiest neighborhood pissed me off all over again as I thought about that fool kicking me out of his car. And now I was starving. See, this is what I missed about having money. Not big stuff or luxury, just the comfort of ordering food without counting quarters. I couldn’t even afford a ride home, let alone the cheapest thing on the menu which was a $1 potato. I eased down onto the bench by the door with my arms crossed tight.

It was exhausting.

To make matters worse, within ten minutes, Jah walked in, bringing me peace… and discomfort. The tension in my shoulders eased, and relief cruised through me at the sight of him. His presence was grounding yet disturbing because I knew he’d want to pick up where we left off, or at least address me not answering his calls over the past few weeks.Here goes nothing, I exhaled.

Jahsir

Crimson rolled her eyes hard as hell when I walked into the restaurant. Shorty was so upset with me that she’d rather be stranded than have me take her home. But still, I’d been blowing her line up for weeks with no response. She had no choice but to holla at me.

“What’s up, Red?”

“Hey.”

ShaRay’s was busy, as always. I hadn’t been here in years. While I wanted to stay below the radar, I couldn’t be here without getting something to eat. "Are you hungry?" I asked.

"No, I'm okay. We can just go." She responded never unfolding her arms.

"Lies. You’re always hungry.” I remarked.

“Well, I don’t have time to eat, Jahsir. I have to get Scarlett.”

“Your little one is safe with Rashad, so we have plenty of time.”

“Aye, can we get a booth?” I requested from the hostess. She showed us to our seats and placed two menus on the table. “We don’t need them. Tell our waitress to bring us two ShaRay specials and two Sprites." I requested, not wanting to waste any time. Crimson was so uptight that she’d probably explode from a lack of patience. Taking a moment, I took in her beauty. She had her hair slicked back in a ponytail, something she only did when it needed a wash. She had on a yellow and gray polka dot blouse, gray slacks, and gray pumps. She avoided eye contact with me, looking at the drink menu, knowing she wouldn’t order anything.

“You’re clearly coming from work. How did you end up stranded on the other side of town?”

"Thank you for coming.” She ignored my question. “You really didn't have to do that. It's bad enough you had to stopwhatever you were doing to pick me up. Now you're forced to eat and make small talk. You have been gone for quite some time; I'm sure you have more pressing things to do and other people to see.”

"I'm exactly where I want to be.”

“Right,” she sneered. Crimson was radiating. I couldn’t tell if it was me who brought the heat, or if someone else pissed her off before I got here.

“Catch me up, what's up with you?" The waitress returned, placing our drinks and two straws on the table.

She sighed in frustration, probably feeling forced to have a conversation with a nigga she currently despised. "Nothing really. I moved back to my auntie’s house a while ago, and I still work at the bank. The only thing that's changed is my little angel being here."

"Red, you really let another nigga put a baby in you? That's wild. You know she's supposed to be mine right?”

“Well.” she shrugged her shoulders. “Such is life.”

“You still fuck wit yo baby daddy?"

"No. It was over before it even started."

"But you loved that nigga enough to have his baby?"

"No, Jahsir. I loved myself enough to take responsibility for my actions."

"You decided something different when you were carrying my seed, though."

"I was 19. I wasn't ready for a baby, Jah, and neither were you. Could you imagine if I'd had it, AND you disappeared for 4 years afterwards?"

I was in my feelings, but she was right. She was 19, and I was 21. We definitely didn’t have any business having a baby. I watched her face soften with concern and fear. She had a question to ask me, but wasn’t sure she was ready for the answer. She took a sip of her Sprite and sighed.

"You left me, Jah. No calls, texts, nothing in all this time. Now you show up expecting me to be the lil girl you left behind. I’ve changed. Twenty four year old Crimson is nothing like the gullible nineteen year old Crimson."

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