Page 83 of The Marriage Policy

I drink my beer while the group of us talk. Eric is…well, he’s basically all over me, kissing my neck, tickling my nape, onlystopping touching me to say something to our friends or to take a drink.

Despite always having been open with affection, it’s surprising he’s so touchy-feely, that he’s not leaving any questions that he’s queer and here with me. It’s so easy for him to just be who he is, and it’s one of my favorite things about him.

A few minutes later, Ana stands and says, “Eric, do you want to go get a drink with me? The waiter’s taking forever to come back around.”

I really like Ana, but I want to growl at her right now.

“Sure. I’ll be back.” Eric kisses me on the cheek and then disappears with Ana.

Hands covering my face, I let out a loud groan. “He’s killing me,” I say, not caring that Rylan and Mads can hear me.

“I think you mean to say he’s crazy about you. Have you still not told him how you feel?” Hayes asks.

“We say I love you, but we’ve always said that…though we say it more now. I know I need to talk to him, but I’m scared of doing anything that’ll change things.”

“Why would telling him change the fact that you’re in love with each other?” Rylan asks. “Is this something else about relationships I don’t know? I’m still figuring all this stuff out, but I’m pretty fucking good at it so far.”

“How do I know if he’s in love with me? He hasn’t told me.”

“Wait. You can’t tell he’s in love with you?” Mads asks. “You’re worse at this than Rylan was.”

I give the goalie for the LA Rebels the finger.

“It’s different for them. They’re best friends. There’s a lot at stake,” Anthony defends me.

“Thank you.”

“But I still think you need to talk to him,” he adds as he comes over and sits beside me. “And you only won’t becauseyou know whois in your head, telling you you can’t have this.”

“I hate that fucking asshole,” Rylan says, all of us knowing that the elephant in the room is always Malcolm. He fucked with me, Hayes, and Anthony so much.

“I didn’t realize how worthless he made me feel,” I admit. “How his digs really got to me. I hate feeling like this.”

He turned me back into the boy I used to be, the one no one wanted except…Eric. Eric has always wanted me, even when it was just friendship. Eric has always loved me, always been by my side, always saw more in me than I could ever see in myself.

Eric who has been touching, holding, and kissing me all night. Eric who looks at me like…well, just like they said before. Like I’m his world…and I know he’s mine.

Malcolm has hurt us all so much, changed us, but I’m not going to let him keep doing that to me. I’m not going to let him stop me from telling Eric how I feel about him, and maybe…maybe Eric needs to hear it from me as much as I need to hear it from him. That’s not something I ever considered, but learning how he’s been insecure about his career and education, maybe in some ways Eric isn’t as confident as I always thought.

Suddenly I can’t wait to tell him. Maybe this isn’t the right place and I should wait to ensure Eric is really in love with me before I tell him. The guys could be wrong, but I just…can’t. Not anymore. I have to trust this. Trustus.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell our friends.

“Where are you going?”

“To find my man.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Eric

I’ve felt thislight, giddy feeling all night. Like there’s a parade in my chest…that feeling you get when you see it as a kid and it’s the most amazing experience you’ve ever had.

I really like going out with Donovan and our friends. I always have, but it’s even better now that I can claim him. I’ve never wanted to claim anyone before, but with D, it’s this powerful instinct I wouldn’t know how to tamp down even if I wanted to.

Which I don’t.

I’m not even sure how to put it all into words.

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