Page 63 of The Marriage Policy

I find one of the workers, who brings us into a room with the cat. “She doesn’t seem to know her name yet. It hasn’t been much time, so she’ll be easy to rename if you want.”

Eric and I sit side by side, and the man sets the cat on Eric’s lap. She immediately starts to purr and rub her face into Eric’s belly.For real, cat. I get it. I like my face there too.

“I’m surprised she’s so affectionate,” Eric says. “Having been a stray.”

I nod, then reach over and pet her. She goes back and forth between rubbing on both me and Eric, soaking it all up.

“You like your daddies, don’t you?” Eric asks her, and my heart squeezes.

I want to be a pet daddy with Eric. This is so bad.

Her tail flicks back and forth, but not in that pissed-cat way. In a happy-cat way.

“I think she likes us,” I tell him.

“Smart cat.” Our hands brush against each other in the cat’s fur. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re already in love,” I answer honestly.

“I think I am too.”

My stomach flip-flops.

The cat. He’s talking about the cat. Chill out.

“Looks like we found our baby,” I tell him, and Eric gives me the biggest grin.

“We want her,” he tells the guy watching us together.

“Okay, let’s get this process going.”

There’s more paperwork to fill out, and a while later, we’re driving home with a cat carrier on Eric’s lap with our cat.

Eric’s and my cat.

That we’re going to share while he maybe lives with me for the rest of our lives.

I think it’s time to seriously figure out what the hell I’m feeling and then find out if he feels the same.

*

We spend therest of the day loving on our cat. We still haven’t decided on a name but have tossed a few possibilities back and forth.

She’s settled in quickly, enjoying the freedom of the house after being locked away in a cage. She’s been exploring, and using the scratching post we got her—for which I said a silent thank-you because I really didn’t want my furniture to get messed up.

Eric makes dinner, and we sit on the couch with the cat between us and eat. Afterward we watch TV while I knit and our baby attacks my yarn. When I put it away, Eric cuddles against me, lost in the show, but I can’t stop my gaze from flicking to him.

I’ve never allowed myself to consider the possibility of having romantic feelings for Eric. I kept him in one box and my sexuality in another because that always felt safer. What would have happened if I hadn’t? Would I have spent my life obsessing over my best friend? Am I doing that now? The sex is already complicating things, but it’s not just that. It’s the handholding and him calling me husband; getting a cat and Eric saying we’re her daddies. Are those things fucking with my head, or are they giving me permission to see something that might have always been there?

And if it is there, is it only on my side, or does Eric feel it too?

Because he just seems like himself—fun-loving, easygoing, not taking life too seriously.

“What?” he asks, noticing I’m staring at him.

“Nothing.” I shake my head. My chest feels…weird. Fluttery and tight.

Eric is leaning against me, my arm around him. He tilts his head up and takes my mouth, his tongue swooping inside. I allow it, crave it, open up for him and let him taste me while I taste him and the room around us spins.

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