Page 42 of The Marriage Policy

“Oh my God. Earlier me totally missed out.”

“Hey, at least current you is happy.”

Very, very happy. I finish chewing and swallowing while trying to sort through my thoughts. How does one tell their gay best friend that they busted their nut to gay porn and wondered if they’d be willing to let you test out some real-life experience with them?

“I watched gay porn last night,” I blurt out, and Donovan’s eyes go wide.

“What…I…why?”

“Because I was curious. The other night…with the jerking off? I thought about you. When I, well, you know.”

“Came?”

“Yes. That. And basically, the whole time. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.”

“I thought about you too,” Donovan admits. “I’ve felt like the biggest fucking asshole ever since…but you… It makes sense for me, even though we’re just friends, but I’m gay and you’re a sexy guy. Why would you…” He trails off, but his gaze never leaves mine.

“I have no idea! That’s what I was trying to figure out with the porn, and it worked. Really fucking well. I came all over the place, and I was into the two guys together. So I guess I’m bi? But I have some questions about how all that works.”

He chuckles. “It doesn’t work one way for everyone. What’s authentic for one queer man might not be the same experience as what another has.”

That makes sense.

“And keeping it real, I don’t know how much help I’d be. Certain queer things, yes, but I’m not attracted to women. Maybe Rylan…?”

I think about it for a moment. “I’m not sure I want to go that far yet. I was thinking about testing it out first. Night one was just me with you in my head, and last night was just me with two dudes on a screen. So I was thinking I should hook up with a guy and see if I’m into it.”

He pales. Does he hate the idea that much? My heart drops.

“You want my help finding a guy to have sex with? I, um, yeah, I can—”

“What? No! I want to have sex with you,” I reply, and his mouth drops open cutely. Not that it should be cute—he’s pale with a fish mouth—but it is. “Not like,sexsex. But jerking off? With touching, though. I figure that’s a good place to start. It makes perfect sense between us. I trust you, feel comfortable with you, and hopefully you feel the same. We know there’s nothing romantic between us, so it’s just…an experiment. If it goes well, we can try more stuff. We’re married and live together. Why not get some orgasms out of it!”

Jesus, a million words just came out of my mouth, and Donovan isn’t saying anything in return.

“You want me to jack you off?” he finally asks.

“I was thinking I’d do it to you. I mean, a handjob is a handjob. I don’t know how proper our experimentation will be if I’m the one receiving. What if I don’t like touching someone else’s dick?”

He stares at me for a moment, his mouth open again. I reach over and close it, which Donovan lets me do, but he still doesn’t talk for, like, a hundred years.

“You don’t have to. I would never want you to do something you’re not into. Like I said, it just seems like it would be easy sex for us, but only if you’re as curious as I am. Or as horny. You can tell me if you don’t like the idea.”

“I like it,” rushes out of his mouth.

“I like it too. Come on. Let’s go.”

“Right now?” Donovan asks.

“Did you want to wait? I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”

Donovan swallows, nods, and then stands.

Fuck yes. I can’t wait.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Donovan

---