Page 44 of Pucking Forbidden

Sutton shivers on my lap, burrowing into me. “D-Does she know?”

“I told her,” I murmur, not hiding anything now. I fucking can’t. As much as it kills me to tell her, I can’t keep her in the dark any longer. I can’t carry the shit myself and hope it doesn’t rip us apart. One way or another, I will hold her together. I’ll protect her no matter what happens next, but I can’t keep the truth about what really happened from her now. Not when it’s already fucked up so much for so many people. “I wasn’t sure if she believed me or not when she decided to stay with him.”

“I think she believed you,” she whispers. “Things weren’t the same between them after you left. Before they broke up, Vanessa spent most of her time at the dorm with me instead of at his place with him. They never really went anywhere alone. She didn’t spend the night with him anymore. She was…quieter than normal. God, I feel so stupid.” She sobs quietly. “I t-thought it was because he was right about the two of you. Instead, it was because he…h-he…”

“I know, princess,” I croon as she falls apart in my arms, her heart broken by her fucking brother all over again. And maybe by me too. Because I’m the one who told her. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t. I’m so sorry.”

I just hold her, crooning to her, telling her how perfect she is and how sorry I am, until she cries herself out. She rests againstmy shoulder then, her face buried in my throat. Tremors still wrack her body occasionally.

“Thank you,” she whispers, her voice hoarse.

“You don’t owe me thanks, princess.”

“Yeah, I do.” She lifts her gaze to mine, her expression so fucking sad it kills me. “Thank you for being the kind of guy who tried to do the right thing and stand up for her. It cost you everything, but you did it anyway.”

“I did it for you.” I wipe her tears away. “I was so fucking furious at him because I knew what the truth would do to you. She was your best friend. That pissed me off as much as him doing it in the first place.” And maybe it pissed me off a little bit because he had everything and was willing to throw it away in such a fucked-up way while I was desperate for even a tiny piece of his sister. I hated him for that. Part of me still does.

“He wanted to send you to jail,” she whispers, her eyes flashing as sadness hardens, turning to anger.

“But he didn’t,” I remind her. I don’t bother telling her that I suspect he only decided not to press charges because he was afraid the truth would come out if he did. He and I both know that’s the only reason he opted not to pursue the assault charges. Management and half our fanbase wanted him to file.

Shit. Not filing worked out well for him. Half the goddamn fanbase hailed him as a hero for it, like he was making this magnanimous gesture toward me because he had so much integrity. Because he cared about me. It was never about that, though. It was about saving his own ass. If I went down for putting him in the hospital, he’d go down right beside me, and for far worse.

“I’m so mad,” Sutton whispers.

“For what it’s worth, he says he told her what he did. Says that’s when she left him.”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

“I know, but he’s still your brother.”

“No, he isn’t,” she swears, practically trembling with rage on my lap. “Not anymore. Not after this.”

Fuck.

“You can’t cut him out of your life, princess. As much as you want to do that right now, eventually, it’ll eat at you. You’ll crack under the guilt.”

“I don’t have anything to feel guilty for!” she cries, jumping to her feet. Water sluices from her body, raining down around me. “He does!”

“That’s not what I mean,” I murmur, sliding back so I can stand, too. This was supposed to be a relaxing bath for her. I should have waited to tell her, but Christ. I couldn’t lie. I won’t ever do that, especially not when her brother’s lies have already cost her so much.

I pluck a towel from the rack, wrapping it around her.

She immediately steps over the lip of the tub, furiously drying herself off. I wrap a towel around my waist and step out behind her, sighing.

I wait until she’s finished drying herself off to haul her into my arms. She’s tense, mad as hell, but she doesn’t fight me. I don’t carry her to bed, though. We aren’t talking about her brother in our bed. I meant that shit the first time I said it.

Instead, I carry her over to the chaise in the corner, settling down with her on my lap.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I say softly. “But I know you, baby. He’s the only family you have left since your great aunt died. If you cut him out, sooner or later, you’ll regret it. It’ll eat away at you because you feel like you owe him for raising you.”

“So, what?” she asks. “I’m supposed to just continue on like nothing happened? Like I don’t know what he did? Like I don’t hate it?” Tears well in her eyes. Her bottom lip quivers. “How am I ever supposed to look at him again without seeing what he did,Jordan? He ruined my life. He ruined yours. God, he showed sex tapes to his whole team! Tapes Vanessa didn’t even know he made.” More tears spill down her cheeks. “I can’t forgive that.”

“I’m not saying you have to forgive it. I’m not even saying you should forgive it,” I murmur, wiping away her tears with the pads of my thumbs. “All I’m saying is…leave that door cracked. Set any conditions you need to set to solidify your boundaries with him, but don’t put yourself in a position where you feel like you’re choosing me or us over him. You may think you’re okay with that right now, but long-term, you won’t feel the same.”

“How can you still protect him?” she whispers.

“Ineverprotected him. I told Vanessa the truth. I told management. But no one wanted to believe it. It was my word against his, and he had the whole fucking team backing him up, everyone except Pablo Gutierrez, anyway. And it wasn’t my place to tell the world. That was Vanessa’s decision to make. Those tapes were of her. She’s the one who needed a voice, not me.”

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