Page 9 of Pucking Forbidden

I stare after him, shocked silent as he stomps back to his truck. He just… Jesus. I think he just admitted that he was in love with me back then. No. Iknowhe just admitted it.

Jordan was in love with me.

Tears slip down my cheek as he drives off. This wasn’t the answer I came here looking for. I think this one hurts a hell of a lot worse than whatever I thought I’d find. Because Jamison’s lie didn’t just break my heart.

It broke Jordan’s, too.

Chapter Three

Jordan

Ibreathe in and out in a deep, even rhythm, my feet pounding against the conveyor on the treadmill. Music rattles the windowpanes around me, aggressive notes pinging off the wallsloud enough to silence every thought in my head. Except…it’s not fucking working like usual.

Most days, I can drown out anything with music. I can punish my body into exhaustion, make it so I’m too goddamn tired to think. It’s not working this time. Even after a grueling game, my mind refuses to shut off.

Seeing Sutton again has my head all fucked up. She’s so damn fiery, so passionate. I wanted to push her up against my truck and fuck my way into her soul yesterday, hear her screaming my name loud enough for the whole city to hear it breaking for me.

Instead, I did the one damn thing I never meant to do. I told her the truth. Now, she knows my little secret…knows that I’m the kind of man who fell in love with her when I shouldn’t have.

I can’t outrun that reality, no matter how hard I try. I can’t outrun the old feelings battling for attention, either. They’re still right there. They’ve always been right fucking there.

I crank the treadmill up a notch and try anyway.

My lungs burn. My side twinges.

Her face flashes through my mind, haunting me just like it has for the last five years.

I grit my teeth and run harder.

My phone vibrates in the tray with an incoming text.

I always felt the same way about you.

“Fuck,” I mutter, stabbing the button to stop the treadmill as I stumble. She still has the same number.

I’ve had to talk myself out of calling her a thousand times over the years just to hear her voice. Just to remind myself that there was still something beautiful out in the world, something worth climbing out of the pit for. Didn’t matter if she ever knew it or not. Didn’t even matter that she hated me. I clawed my way back to the top for her. Because of her.

Because I couldn’t spend the rest of my life as someone she pitied on top of everything else. I hoped like hell that I’d see her in the stands one day, even if it was only a glimpse. I never have, though. Doesn’t matter how many times we’ve played the Bucks over the years. She’s never in the stands.

I look for her anyway.

Sutton: When Jamison told me that you were in love with Vanessa, it broke my heart.

Sutton: Maybe I should have been pissed that you put him in the hospital, but I was devastated that you were in love with my best friend when I was crazy about you.

Sutton: Just thought you should know.

“Jesus Christ,” I mutter. Is that why she slapped me? Because her heart was broken?

All this fucking time…

I battle the urge to pick up the phone and call her.

What would it solve?

What would it change?

Maybe she was in love with me then. But that was another life. Any dreams I had crumbled when I attacked her brother. The only reason she’s here now is because she thinks I can help her with him.

---