Page 36 of Pucking Forbidden

“So you just avoid the issue.”

“That’s not what we’re doing,” I protest. But it kind of is…isn’t it? We avoid talking about him like he’s not a silent presence hovering in the corner. Like he has no bearing on our lives at all. And yet, he does.

“Isn’t it? You avoid talking about it because it’s easier.” Jamison sighs. “Maybe I do the same thing, baby sister.”

“Idon’tfeel sorry for you,” I growl, eyes narrowing. “You’re the one who lied. You’re the one who hurt people. If you want to feel better about it, be honest. Fix it.”

“I’m trying, dammit!”

“Try harder,” I snap, hanging up on him. I toss my phone on the bed with a soft growl, my temples throbbing. Why is he so infuriating? When did he get so twisted up?

Ha. Do I even need to ask? When they named him captain. He finally had everything he spent his whole life working for, and it’s like he didn’t know what to do with it. The one guy everyone was supposed to be able to count on turned into the one guy no one could.

I couldn’t. Jordan couldn’t. Neither could Vanessa.

I sink down onto the side of the bed, picking up my phone. For a long moment, I just hold it, hesitating. And then I suck in a breath and open a browser, typing in her name.

Tears spring to my eyes when I see her wedding announcement. She’s getting married. I click on the only social media link available for her, the same page she had when we were in college. My heart twinges when I realize that I’m still blocked.

Five years later, and she still wants nothing to do with me. It hurts more than it should. Maybe it hurts more now because Iknowthere’s a reason, one I should have known all along. Does she think I just didn’t care? That I knew and simply pretended I didn’t?

I scroll to my messages, pulling up Jordan’s name.

Me: Do you think Vanessa would talk to me if I tried to get in touch?

He reads the message, starts typing, and then stops. A few seconds later, my phone vibrates in my hands.

“Hey,” I whisper.

“What’s wrong, princess?”

“Jamison called again.”

“Fuck.”

“He didn’t tell me what he did,” I quickly say. Even though we don’t talk about it, I know Jordan’s still worried about what happens when the rest of the sky falls down on us. Sooner or later, it’s bound to happen. We can’t ignore the problem away, as much as I wish we could. “But I don’t know. I guess talking to him just made me realize that she probably walked out of my life thinking I knew the truth. She probably hates me for not speaking up for her.”

“I doubt she hates you, Sutton,” he says softly.

“You don’t know that.”

“Yeah, I do. It’s impossible to hate you.”

“Then why does she still have me blocked on social media?” I brush a tear from my cheek. “Did you know she was engaged?”

“I didn’t know that. I haven’t talked to her in five years. Not since…” he trails off. “Well, that’s not important. The point is, I barely talked to her back then. We didn’t keep in touch once I was sent to Connecticut.”

I bite my lip, hesitating. It’s too much to ask. And yet… “Do you think she’d talk to you?” I whisper, clutching the phone like it’s a lifeline. “If you reached out?”

He’s silent for a minute. “Is that what you want? You want me to reach out to her?”

“I just…I want to know that she’s okay. And I guess I want her to know that I’m sorry for whatever he did. And that I’m sorry I didn’t know.”

“You can’t apologize for him, princess. It’s on him to do that,” Jordan says, his voice somehow firm and gentle at the same time.

“I know.” I exhale a sharp breath. “I just want her to know that I didn’t know. And that I’m sorry for that.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he murmurs. “But I’m not making any promises.”

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