“Just tonight,“ he pleads again. “In fact, if it makes you feel better, Jade can come and stay with you, and I won’t even be there.”
He takes my hand and pushes a set of keys into it. I recognize them. They are the keys to his penthouse. He’s being serious. He wouldn’t give me the thing I need to escape if he wanted me to stay a prisoner—surely?
“I’ll come and stay tonight. You don’t have to arrange for Jade to be there. I don’t mind you being there, Nico.”
I close my hands around the keys. I want to trust him, but I’ll feel safer if he leaves me with these. I’m so tired right now, and I’m fully aware that my apartment is not the right place for me to be, especially after what the doctor told me. I’ll take tonight, get some decent rest, and tomorrow my mind will be clearer.
I can decide what I want to do in the morning.
Nico is smiling, his entire face lifting with the relief of my words.
“Thank you,” He says, leaning down to kiss my cheek.
I should turn away from his kiss, but the moment his lips touch my skin I want him. I want him to hold me and make me feel safe again. I want to be wrapped up in him, laughing andjoking and talking about the future. I want to go back to the moments before I knew everything I don’t want to know.
I need to tell him what the doctor told me.
It wouldn’t be fair to keep it a secret from him. He has a right to know, because this is his as much as it is mine.
But now isn’t the right time.
Maybe later, when we get home. Maybe tomorrow.
Nico helps me check out of the hospital and wraps his arm around my waist as we walk to the car.
I lean against him because it comforts me and because I’m too tired to do anything else. In brief moments of connection and intimacy, it’s easy to forget what he’s done. And who he is.
On the drive home, though, I’m lost in thought.
I’m so scared about the future and the new responsibilities I have.
Looking over at his face, my body is filled with tension.
How will he take the news?
Will he be happy?
Does he even want children?
I look forward again.
I’ll figure it out.
No matter what he says, I know I will love my little baby with all my heart. I’ll keep them safe.
Chapter 21 - Nico
Serafina is very quiet.
The weight of her silence sits heavily on my shoulders as we drive towards the penthouse. She’s not fidgeting, she’s not sighing loudly—she’s just sitting there. It’s like she’s gone numb to me. That terrifies me in ways I can’t process.
It’s taking every ounce of my self-control not to reach out and hold her, to rest my hand on her leg. I want to tell her everything is going to be okay, but how can I? I don’t even know what she’s thinking or feeling or planning.
I really fucked up.
I fucked it all up.
The amount of stress I gave her caused her to have a panic attack and land in a hospital. What kind of monster am I?