Page 93 of Goalie Interference

Fuck.That’s what I got for trying to help the kid. “I was thinking of what would be best for him, not me.”

“The trade deadline is coming up, and we’re evaluating what the team needs. Lappy is one of the pieces we’re considering.”

I was obviously one as well. I shot a glance at Otts, but he didn’t look at me.

Coach Mack stood, and the others followed. “Thanks for giving us your viewpoint. We’re heading on a road trip in the morning, and we’re taking Keats and Lappy.”

I stood and nodded, but the writing was on the wall. The only question was whether they could find someone to trade for me, or if they’d just buy me out and be done. My anxiety was rubbing under my skin and I needed to get away from here as quickly as humanly possible.

I dialed up the water in the shower as hot as I could stand it, hoping to wash the worry away. But it didn’t change the fact that I was done in Austin.

I messaged Sophie that I wasn’t good company, so I was taking a break. Once at the apartment, I packed up Beast and some supplies and left the city.

It took a little over an hour to get to San Antonio, but I didn’t stop. What I needed wasn’t crowds, and the city was close enough to Austin that someone might recognize me. I saw signs for Corpus Christi and decided the coast might be far enough.

It was late afternoon when we arrived, but I found a vacation rental that allowed pets and had a lockbox. I input my details and credit card and followed the directions to the place, getting some takeout on the way. Once Beast had a chance to stretch his legs and do his business, I crashed on the bed fully clothed without doing anything more than putting out a water bowl for the dog.

Was this my fault? If I’d let Otts assume Sophie and I were just friends and neighbors, would he not be pushing to trade me, or was the trade inevitable?

And what was Sophie even doing with someone like me? She claimed I’d accomplished something just by surviving in the NHL so long, but that time was ending. Then who was I? I’d been hockey for twenty years. I didn’t have anything else.

The thought of leaving Sophie behind hurt, but what choice did I have? What could I do if I wasn’t playing hockey? Where could I even live?

I fell asleep to those depressing thoughts and the sun woke me up. I hadn’t closed the curtains properly, and it took me a few minutes to orient myself. Everything hit—the potential trade, the drive, and now that I listened for it, the sound of the water. Yeah, the place had been a little expensive because it was on the beach. I hadn’t cared about that, but I had needed something pet friendly.

Beast was sitting on the floor beside the bed, staring at me intensely enough that he might have been what woke me up rather than the bright light. Someone needed to get outside to a bush, or I’d be losing my damage deposit.

I pulled on clothes, grabbed his leash, and headed out.

It was nowhere near freezing, or the kind of winter weather I grew up with in Canada, but I was grateful I’d brought my jacket. The beach extended in either direction from the rental, few people visible. No one knew who I was or what I did.

I turned left, Beast on his leash beside me. He avoided the water but found a lot of things to investigate. And then pee on. When he started to lag, I sat on the sand, staring out over the waves. They made that shushy kind of sound as they ran up the sand then fell back. For long minutes I watched and listened, mind in neutral, the sun warming my face. It was a short respite before my brain came back online.

“What are we going to do, Beast?” I realized, with a shock, that I’d been petting him while I fretted. And he’d let me. He’d actually leaned into it. “Even you feel sorry for me.”

He flattened onto his belly, legs spread behind him like a frog. I didn’t know dog body language well enough to decipher that as anything but him relaxing. But I knew what was coming.

“If there’s no more hockey, it’s time to find a place for the winters. Any suggestions?”

He closed his eyes, soaking up the sun. I’d say he was a fan of the warmth. His vote would be for the south.

I would like to stay in the south too, particularly Austin. But I didn’t know how to make that happen when hockey wouldn’t provide me with a visa. Damn it, I’d put this off for so long, and now I was stuck.

I hadn’t gone through a season without a team since I’d been in high school. But worse, it meant this thing with Sophie was ending sooner than planned as well. She’d become essential to me. Just knowing she was nearby, that I could pick up the phone and message her, had made this stressful season more bearable.

I needed to talk to her. Find out if she would be interested in long-term and willing to figure it out. I didn’t see a way forward, but maybe she would.

Beast tugged on the leash. I’d come to a stop, standing and staring at nothing. I started moving again. I’d shower and dress. Feed the dog. Feed me. Take some time to pull myself together and try to figure out a way to stay here. Then I’d head back toAustin and be there when the team returned to face the trade or buyout that was coming and sort out my future.

Chapter 34

An asshole-free zone

Sophie

I wasn’t sure why Remy needed a break, but since he left just before the team went on a road trip, Ollie had to be part of it. What had Ollie done? There was no official word of a trade or anything else involving Remy, but who knew what might have been said in private? I was sure there was a lot that went on that the public had no knowledge of.

I was tempted to call my ex, but I wanted to talk to Remy first. Maybe he was pulling away from me to protect his career. Maybe I wasn’t worth the gamble. Could I fault him for that? I’d said it was just casual, so why would he keep this thing going if he thought it would cost him hockey? I texted him but didn’t get an answer. Feeling restless, I drove to Diane’s to finish the last steps on my guitar. I was pleased with it. I could see things I’d change, improve in another attempt, but it was a good effort.

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