Page 95 of Backhanded Compliments

Nicky allows Luca to pull him into the sweep of dancers. It’s like a chaotic and complicated tango, everyone’s faces blurring together, and Luca wonders if this is what it feels like to drown, her breath harsh but not reaching her lungs.

It could be three seconds or three hours for all she knows. Time does not exist here. She remembers small details between the stretches of forgetting. Leo and Octavia wrapped aound each other, Octavia’s fingers threaded tightly through Leo’s curls to ensure he doesn’t drift away from her. Then, Claudia’s head thrown back as she laughs. A man Luca doesn’t recognize kissing the line of Claudia’sthroat. Xinya and Remi are twined around each other, Xinya’s face hidden in Remi’s neck and Remi’s hands rubbing her back soothingly. Luca spots Livia with one of the Volkov brothers, her hair obscuring her face as she dances. And then she loses everyone in the chaos.

“Love is overrated,” Nicky bemoans as they find themselves in the eye of the dancing. Luca barely manages to keep Nicky upright as he sways like a dandelion in a windstorm.

“Come on, you and Magnus are good, right?” Luca asks, and Nicky shakes his head.

“No, I don’t know. We fuck, but we don’t figure anything out. We run in circles.” Nicky drops his head into his hands, and Luca pats his shoulder.

Luca rips her gaze from Nicky. She thinks she catches a glimpse of Juliette moving through the party, but then she’s gone. Luca cranes her neck up in an effort to get new air into her lungs. The ceiling above them sparkles with vibrant, neon stars. How did they even get inside?

“I don’t want to be here anymore. This isn’t fun,” Nicky whines into her ear.

Luca looks up at him. His bright blue eyes are glassy and he’s breathing hard. She links their elbows together and then fishes them out of the dancers and back onto the deck. A free lounger beckons her and she guides him over until he can slump like a broken doll against it.

“Let me get you a water, and then we’ll leave. I’ll be right back, okay?” She waits for Nicky to nod before she starts across the deck in search of a waiter.

“Luca!”

Luca turns, and Juliette nearly runs into her. Luca steadies her with a touch to her shoulder. Juliette’s eyes are bright, her hair frizzy in the humidity. “I’m sorry, but can I talk to you?” she says, wringing her hands.

Luca’s stomach twists but she nods. “Yeah, sure,” she says automatically even though she knows she should get back to Nicky. She wishes she would’ve stayed on the dance floor, melting with everyone until she wasn’t in her body anymore.

Juliette leads her to the secluded lower deck, farthest from the dance floor and bar. The music is almost muffled, as if Luca has stepped onto an entirely different boat. It’s dark apart from the bright red sidelight casting ominous shadows on the lapping waves.

“So,” Juliette says, looking up. Her face is framed with crimson. “We need to talk.” There is a finality to her tone, different from the frantic question moments ago.

Luca shifts, her shoulders rising to her ears. “About what?”

Juliette takes a steadying breath, twisting her fingers together. “I don’t think we’re going to work out,” she says.

“What?”

“I think we should stay away from each other. I think it’d be for the best.”

Luca’s throat and mind are full of cotton. She can still hear the buzz of the music in her ears. “I don’t understand.”

“Those photos of us online. It’s been really distracting for me, and I had a panic attack over them. Clearly that isn’t good for me or my game. I had a disastrous practice. I realized I can’t be worried every time I’m with you.” Juliete’s hands lock around her wrists, clammy with sweat. “Please, I’m doing what is best for both of us.”

Luca makes the mistake of meeting Juliette’s wide brown eyes. Pain and hurt tighten the corners of her mouth, but there is a determination in her gaze that Luca is intimately familiar with. She wrenches out of Juliette’s grasp.

“No, you aren’t. You’re doing what’s best foryou,” Luca hisses. “You hide behind your competitiveness and charm, but I see you, Juliette. I know you’re afraid of losing control. Of not having the story spun your way for one second.” Juliette reaches for her again, and Luca cringes away. “You said you didn’t want to be petty and jealous anymore.”

“This isn’t about that.” Tears gleam scarlet on Juliette’s cheeks and she scrubs her hands over her face. “I’m doing what is best for both of us. I want to play and win tournaments. I can’t do that if I’m with you.”

Luca stares at her. “Unbelievable.”

“We can still be friends—”

“Was this your plan the entire time? Make me fall for you and then break my heart?” Luca demands, and Juliette recoils.

“No!”

Luca plants her hands on the boat’s railing as the world spins around her. Pain lances through her chest, her heart shattered—again.

“I thought you would understand!” Juliette’s voice cracks. “We’re rivals, and we both want to be the best.”

“We could be the besttogether,” Luca snaps, her throat so tight her voice sounds thin and reedy.

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