Page 84 of Backhanded Compliments

They’re only now beginning to unravel whatever taut and fragile feelings are between them. Adding a disapproving and overbearing father into the mix certainly won’t make their relationship development any easier. Luca can’t lie and say she likes Antony, but he is Juliette’s father. And they could be family one day.

Luca clutches the edge of the sink as a wave of dizziness crashes over her at the thought. That is too far in the future. She stares at her reflection and draws in a deep breath, even as her own features begin to swim and rearrange oddly.

Luca sinks to the floor before she passes out, the cold touch of the tile soothing against her knees and palms. Too many thoughts, too much all at once. She leans back onto her heels and shakes her head, hoping to jar loose the thoughts that keep plaguing her.

It’s an anxiety spiral. And really, it’s over nothing. Of course Antony would want to look out for his daughter and keep her focused. But from all she’s seen of him, he’s all bark and no bite.

Slowly, she gets to her feet and washes her hands, then scrubs herdamp hands through her hair. Cool droplets race down her temples and burning hot neck. “You’re fine,” she tells her reflection, even if her stomach is still twisted in knots. “This is fine.”

A knock on the door makes Luca jump, and she hates how pale and wan she still looks.

She pinches her cheeks in an effort to bring some color back, but it only achieves a strange and unnatural splotch on the top of her cheeks. Sighing, Luca goes to the door anyway.

She isn’t surprised to find Juliette standing in the hallway, cheeks flushed and her hair in a wild halo around her head, as if she’s been tugging on her curls. “Is everything okay with your father?” Luca grinds out in halting syllables.

Juliette nods. “Can I come in?” she asks, her hands fluttering around her, as if she can’t decide whether to reach out or clasp them together.

Luca steps back and wordlessly lets Juliette enter. Tension snaps in the air, and Luca wants to cringe away. “Sorry, the curtains are open,” Luca says as she lets the door shut. She hurries to close them. It gives her some space from Juliette.

“I’m sorry about him,” Juliette says in a rush, as if the words will be lost if she doesn’t say them immediately. “He’s melodramatic and he only wants what’s best for me and my sisters.”

Luca yanks the flamingo pink curtains over the vibrant nightlife of Miami and tries to steady her breathing. “It’s okay, I get it.” She turns slowly. Juliette’s eyes are huge and shimmering, a pleading in them that Luca is thrown off by.

Juliette shakes her head, manic in her movements. “No, it’s not okay. He’s trying to control my life and I won’t have him drive you away.”

“Is that what this is about?” Luca asks, tilting her head. Juliette thinks Antony would drive Luca away, not that she might be convinced to leave Luca?

Juliette stills, looking up with warm, sweet eyes. This is the first time Luca has ever really seen her look frightened.

“I thought he was going to convince you I wasn’t worth the effort,”Luca says, and Juliette blinks, bewildered. It’s oddly comforting to see all of Juliette’s emotions play out across her expressive face.

“No, he’s just being a control freak,” Juliette says firmly. “He wants to make it clear that he thinks that you’re going to distract me. As if I can’t focus on multiple things at once.” Juliette rolls her eyes. “Maybe I’ll tell him to fuck off.” She waves her hand, saying it flippantly, as if none of it matters.

“Don’t ruin your relationship with him. Set boundaries, but keep him in your life.”

Juliette’s forehead scrunches. “What? Where is this coming from?”

Luca crosses an arm over her chest, scrubbing the knuckles of her other down her sternum as the pressure builds again. The truth is simple but harsh. “You never know how much time you’ll get with him. And I don’t think you should dismiss him. He is worried about your career and happiness.” She hates how bitter the words taste in her mouth.

Juliette stares at her, mouth slightly parted and her eyes searching Luca’s face.

Luca shakes her head before moving away from the curtains to the kitchen. She needs a cup of tea, something to soothe the ache in her throat. She busies herself with the kettle. “Ignoring the issue isn’t a healthy way to deal with this.”

“You don’t know him like I do,” Juliette says, and the springs tightening in Luca’s chest snap.

“He’s a better father than a lot of us get,” Luca says, and she immediately regrets it. She knows the subject of fathers is a sensitive one for her, and truly, what right does she have to give advice to Juliette?

“Luca,” Juliette murmurs, her voice so soft and quiet that the defensive thorns around Luca start to soften and unfurl.

“My father is dead,” Luca says suddenly, popping the chamomile bag into the bottom of one of the too-small ceramic cups. She fishes her honey out of the pantry next to all of her granola bars.

Juliette’s breath catches. “Oh, Luca, I’m so sorry.”

Luca bites her lip and tips her spoon into the honey. “It’s fine. He died a while ago. Before I went to college.” Luca wishes she could force her voice to be flat, but it’s raspy and trembling.

Juliette stays quiet, either thinking or waiting for Luca to fill the silence.

“He was a complicated man,” Luca continues. She’s unsure of where the words come from. Maybe a deep-rooted desire to make Juliette see that she shouldn’t dismiss her father. “I think he loved my mother and me, but he was a product of his upbringing. He thought that caring too much was a weakness we couldn’t afford.” The more she speaks, the more she feels like a snake shedding its skin.

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