Page 98 of Backhanded Compliments

The scent of grapefruit that used to lull her to sleep reminds her of Juliette pressed in close, arms around her waist, nose against her throat.

The closed curtains remind her of Juliette’s fear of heights.

Her favorite chamomile tea reminds her of soothing Juliette multiple times, and even lying in bed without the warmth of Juliette makes it impossible to get comfortable.

It is through absolute sheer force of will that Luca wins any matches. On the court, she forgets everything but the ball. The squeak of shoes against the hard ground, the strike of the ball against her strings, and the blister of the Miami sun—it all makes Luca forget that she is Luca Kacic. Still, it’s by the barest of margins that she beats the other Bulgarian twin, Tatiana Valcheva, in a tiebreaker to make it to the semifinal.

Unfortunately, Remi Rowland is the next match waiting for her, and Remi’s fresh from a first-set retirement when her opponent suffered from heat stroke.

Off the court, Luca is a mess. She knows it’s stupid, but it’s as if her chest has been punched through with a Juliette-size hole.

Vladimir immediately notices her lack of focus, sleeplessness, and terrible appetite.

“A good win out there today,” he says as Luca sinks into the ice bath. The shock of the cold after burning in the sun makes her mind go blank.

Vladimir leans against the wall. She can vaguely hear the other players talking in the locker room on the other side of the half wall. She wonders if Juliette is there. She lost in the first round, but maybe she’s supporting her sisters. Luca shakes her head, trying to jar loose any thoughts of Juliette.

“Good win today, but I need to beat Remi tomorrow to definitely keep my rank through the US Open,” Luca says. Last night, when she couldn’t sleep, she’d obsessively crunched the numbers. “And if I lose, I’ll have to win Cincinnati.”

Vladimir sighs. “It won’t be the end of the world if you lose the number one ranking, Luca. You’ve had a tough year, and you should be proud of what you’ve accomplished.”

“But if I lose—”

“Everyone loses, Luca. It’s part of the sport. It doesn’t take away from all that you have accomplished.”

Vladimir’s words are still circling in her head as she steps onto the Center Court to face Remi Rowland.

The crowd is immediately rowdy and roaring as they step onto the court. Remi is the obvious favorite, even though Luca played tennis for Florida in college. Nothing will make the crowd root for her over the local, feisty American kid. The media will probably say that it bothered Luca during their match, not being the crowd favorite, and that her mind was elsewhere.

It is true that her mind is somewhere else entirely. She can’t stop thinking about how perfectly Remi has played since publicly announcing her relationship with Chen Xinya.

Luca gets aced on match point, and she watches Remi blow a kiss to her box and her soulmate. The hard agony of defeat ringshollow in her chest, made more disappointing after her terrible performance.

But it’s the slither of jealousy in her gut that is the worst.

She only needs to work harder, be better, and focus more. It’ll all unfold exactly as it needs to.

She only needs time.

THIRTY-EIGHTJULIETTE

“Where is your head at, Juliette?” Antony asks.

They’re sitting in a booth at the back of the vegan restaurant Claudia convinced them all to come to after winning the Cincinnati Open doubles’ title. The Phoenician Taverna is their favorite restaurant that also serves vegan food and Claudia hadn’t wanted to celebrate without her doubles partner, Xinya.

Claudia, Xinya, and Remi are currently at the bar, taking some sort of tequila and spinach shot. They’d played spectacularly, and Juliette is pleasantly sunburned from sitting in her player box for two hours.

Still, Juliette can’t find the energy to enthusiastically party with her sister and friends. It’s been two weeks since she broke up with Luca, and it seems that perhaps Luca feels similarly, even if she is playing better than Juliette. On court, she’s even colder. She plays, wins, and leaves. There is no joy in her face, no fist pumps, no energy outside of points. Whenever the camera focuses on Luca’s face, Juliette can see the dark circles beneath her eyes and the chapped skin of her lower lip. She still sweeps through her opponents without much trouble, because she’s just incredibly talented. In the promotional videos the WTA makes them do, she’s so charming with her smiles and jokes. Everyone’s been mentioning how much Luca’s come out of her shell this season.

@julesisthesun

the edits that will come from this interview alone will be fire. get on it girlies!!

@gamesetvroom

she’s taking every tournament this swing, istg she’s gonna charm her opponents into defaulting.

@liviasburner

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