Octavia nods. “So, for a while, I tried to convince him to find his other soulmate. I thought there was no way I could make him completely happy and that he wouldn’t make me happy. It hurt Leo to have me repeatedly push him away. No matter how badly I wanted him, I thought I couldn’t have him.” She pauses to shake her head, barking out a wry laugh.
“I didn’t know that,” Juliette whispers.
Octavia looks up, her features softening in a way Juliette hasn’t seen in years. “I didn’t tell anyone. It’s my job to protect you all. I know Claudia’s sensitive about soulmarks, since she doesn’t have one. Livia is the baby, I can’t burden her with that. Mom and Dad aren’t soulmates. You have always been anti-soulmate. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it.”
Guilt swells in Juliette’s chest, and her eyes prickle again. “I’m sorry.”
Octavia touches her cheek, sweeping a tear away with her thumb. “Don’t be. I didn’t tell you this to guilt-trip you when you already feel like shit.”
Juliette takes a shaky breath. She doesn’t like the crystalline feeling in her chest, as if her heart is fragile and with too deep a breath she’ll dissolve into feelings and tears again.
“Look, I know you and Luca had a rocky start. You both are dealing with a lot. There is so much pressure in this stupid sport, but I think happiness is worth pursuing.” Octavia smiles, small and tender, as if she’s barely daring to hope. “And I don’t mean just a one-night stand.” Her voice is knowing, not quite judgmental, but Juliette drops her gaze to her wrist, where a strap hides Luca’s name.
“And you know you can find love with anyone,” Octavia continues when Juliette remains silent. “I mean, look at Mom and Dad. Not perfect, but they do love each other. And in their own ways, they love us. Sometimes a choice is a burden, and even though your soulmate is predetermined, you still have to choose love, choose happiness. With your soulmate, or not.”
Juliette stares up at Octavia from under her lashes. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, give it a shot with Luca. There is more to life than this silly game we play, and maybe life will be better if you’re happy.” Octavia takes her hands and squeezes. “You may be rivals, but you have a lot in common. Maybe that’s why you’re soulmates.”
Juliette frowns but understands the logic of that. Still, the ugly feelings in her chest have sharp edges. Want and desire refuse to leave her alone, a ravaging and physical passion that threatens to scorch her to ash. The only cure for her loneliness is to give in to those desires and melt into Luca Kacic.
“She doesn’t want me. She won’t have me,” Juliette says finally, deflating as she admits her nagging worry.
Octavia shakes her head, a cheeky smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I’ve seen the way she watches you. She wants you too, she’s just afraid.”
Juliette chews on the inside of her lip. “You think?”
Octavia laughs, fully grinning. “Oh, Jules, I know it.”
TWENTY-TWOLUCA
The persistent drizzle of London refuses to let up. After the bright warmth of sunny Naples, Luca isn’t thrilled by the prospect of several days of dreary rain. She stares out the car window, watching condensation gather on the glass. She draws a frowny face in it before wiping it away with the edge of her hoodie.
“Luca?” Vladimir asks. “Are you listening?”
“Sorry, what was that?” Luca twists around to look at her coach.
Vladimir sighs. “I was saying you have Ricci as a practice partner today.”
Luca grimaces before she can stop herself, a pinch of panic threading through her chest. “Which one?” She prays it isn’t—
“Juliette.”
Of course. Luca snaps one of her bracelets against her wrist.
“Your first round is a qualifier you’ve never played before, but she’s left-handed and very quick.”
Luca nods. Juliette is quick, left-handed, and twice as good as the qualifier, which is precisely why Vladimir requested Juliette to practice against.
“Luca?” The cab skids to a halt, and Luca glances at Vladimir. “Are you all right? You seem unfocused.” Vladimir strokes his dark goatee, pensive rather than upset.
Luca shrugs. “I’m fine. I just know Twitter will have a field day with this practice.” It isn’t a lie, but her feelings are tangled in complicated knots when it comes to Juliette. It’s more than just media concerns. ShewantsJuliette, but she isn’t naive enough to think thatJuliette wants anything more than physical pleasure with her. She can see being entangled with Juliette is a bad idea from miles away. But her body yearns to be near Juliette, to twine their fingers and bodies together.
Vladimir hands a wad of cash at the driver, and Luca flees from the car, her heart beating too quickly. Droplets of rain land on the back of her heated neck and slide underneath her collar. She shudders and lifts her hood over her head, smacking her cheek with the end of her braid. Vladimir takes her bag over his shoulder, and they rush into the side entrance of the club.
“Damn rain,” Vladimir mutters, shaking his thick, dark hair off his shoulders. “I hate London.”
Luca huffs. She doesn’t hate London as much as she hates rain. Vladimir leads the way through the labyrinthine halls of the country club. She prefers to play outside, but it’s better to practice inside than not at all.