Page 4 of Play Like a Girl

I shook my head and settled into the seat next to her.

“No one knew I’d be here today. Not even Kenny. The coach released us early and I lucked out and was able to change my flight.” I shifted sideways and crossed my legs. “Nadia dropped me off at the airport and I left my gear in her trunk. I felt like a celebrity getting on the plane with nothing but a purse.”

Instead of sitting, Jeremy hovered next to me. Once I finished speaking, he said, “Mom, I’m gonna run and get something to eat.” His eyes shifted between us. “Do you guys want anything?”

“No thanks,” I said.

“I’m good, honey. But thank you.”

I watched Jeremy walk away then turned my attention back to Karen.

“He’s such a great kid.”

“I got lucky with that one.” She smiled. “He’s been so thrilled about you visiting this weekend.”

“Yeah, I’m happy to be here. I’ve missed you guys.”

“Speaking of being thrilled to see you, have you seen Kenny yet?”

“Yeah, I just came from his office. He has a meeting with his dad but he’ll be down when he’s done.”

“How’s it going now that you’re back on the road?”

“It’s different for sure, but so far, we’re okay. I just never” I shook my head and looked back at the field.

“You just never what?” she asked when my pause lingered.

“College is the last place I lived full-time and for all these years, I didn’t mind living like a nomad. I’ve casually dated guys in that time, but after my grandparents died, besides my teammates, Dale was the only constant person in my life. We got together whenever we could and talked on the phone or texted when we were apart, but it’s different with Kenny. Being away from him is awful. I never thought I’d miss someone so much.”

Karen placed her hand over mine and squeezed, pulling my attention back to her.

“I’m not going to lie to you, before I moved here, I missed your brother so much, it hurt. Now it’s a little easier. At least we live in the same house for home games and most off days. Plus we have the whole off season. The rest of the time is tough but we manage.”

“My problem is that unless I stop playing softball, Kenny and I will never be in the same place. His job doesn’t slow down during what should be the off season and I’m usually playing or training somewhere.”

“You trained here last year. Is that an option going forward?”

“Not really. I only did it last year because everything else was shut down.”

“Are you thinking about retiring?”

“Not really. I don’t know. Maybe.” I shrugged and shook my head. “Sometimes.”

“Well it sounds like you have a plan.”

I burst into laughter at her words and after a second, she joined in. Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I pulled her close for a quick hug.

When I released her, Karen looked me in the eye.

“But seriously, you’ve thought about retiring?”

“I always figured I’d keep playing as long as I’m healthy and can still compete. But this past year has shown me that there’s more to life than softball.” My eyes skimmed the field as I collected my thoughts then I looked at Karen again and voiced the thought that’s been running through my head for weeks. “Being on the Olympic team is keeping it fresh, but once that’s over, I don’t know. I love the game but it’s exhausting sometimes. The training, the travel.” I shook my head. “I just don’t know if I’m feeling this way because I miss Kenny or if I’m ready to walk away from it all.”

She squeezed my hand again and smiled.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it all out.”

If only I were that confident.

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