Page 51 of His Coveted Obsession

He was drunk. My day couldn’t have gone better. Jesus. He didnotneed another damn addiction.

I dropped my backpack onto the floor, gathered the empty cans, and tossed them into the blue container sitting in the garage.

When I returned to the kitchen, he was sipping on another beer. I sighed and went to the fridge to find something to make for us. There wasn’t much. We needed groceries again soon.

“Sandwiches it is,” I mumbled.

I pulled out some ham and took a sniff. It seemed good. Then I grabbed some cheddar cheese, mustard, and mayonnaise. In the pantry, I grabbed the loaf of bread that had six slices of white bread left.

After making two sandwiches, I put one in front of my dad. “Eat.”

He shoved the plate away as I sat down to eat mine. “Not hungry.”

I suddenly slammed my hand hard on the table, startling him and myself. I rarely got angry and lashed out.

“Enough! What is wrong with you? I get it. You were sad that Mom died. We all are. Istillmiss her. But your gambling and drinking are getting out of hand! I’m sick of it. I cannot carry the burden of taking care of this family. I’m trying to get an education,Dad. I’m trying to better my life, but you’re making it very difficult to focus on my studies, and I’m tired all the time with work.”

He scowled but said nothing as he tossed back the rest of his beer, stood, and grabbed another. I mumbled a curse under my breath.

“Dammit, Dad!”

“I lost my job, okay?” he boomed, reeling at me.

My gut dropped to the ground as my mind careened with worry about what we were going to do now. “W-what? How? Why?”

I had that money Easton gave me, but it wouldn’t hold us forever, and there was no way I’d ask for more. God, I’d have to quit school to work at night. I was never getting out of here. The thought gut-punched me. My life was over before it barely began, all because my dad couldn’t get his shit together.

He sat back down and opened the tab on the beer can. “I’ve missed too much work, so they fired me.”

“Why? Why are you missing so much work? You haven’t been sick.” But I knew why. He’d been out at the racetrack or the casino.

“I have to make my money back, dammit! I’ve been losing too much, and…”

He put his hands on his face and sobbed.

Jesus. I could feel the impending doom from here.

I didn’t go to him, reassure him, or pat his back, and tell him we’d figure it out. He needed to understand the implications of his actions and that nothing would be okay.

When he calmed down, he wiped his face and sipped more beer. “So, we won’t have any income for a while. We’ll have to rely on yours. Do you… have anything I can borrow?”

“Fuck!” I rarely swore, but this called for it. “You just lost your job, and you’re asking to borrow money from me, your son, who barely makes enough to keep us afloat? You want to take my hard-earned money and bet on it?”

It was his turn to slam his hand on the table. “Dammit! Just listen! If I can bet on Daisy Chain in the next race, the winningswill be massive! I’ll be able to put you and Annie through college. All our money problems will go away, Tommy. Don’t you get it?”

“I’m not feeding your addiction!”

“Yeah, well, fuck you! Then we’ll just starve.”

My eyes popped out of my head. My dad had periodic mood swings since all this began, but he’d never said those words to me. I always believed he still loved us. Now I thought that his addiction was all he loved. All that I’d done to contribute to the household and take care of Annie wasn’t enough in his eyes. I was useless if I couldn’t contribute to his gambling.

My eyes watered, feeling like I was losing another parent. Just because he was breathing didn’t mean he was here. I shoved my uneaten sandwich away, stood, and left the kitchen.

“Tommy? Tommy, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean it,” he yelled after me. I ignored him and headed up to my room, now hungry, but I couldn’t be in that kitchen a second longer.

The pain and desperation pulled out the tears, and I sobbed where I stood. I hated it when I got like this. I felt helpless.

When I calmed down, I wiped my nose with the back of my hand, pulled out my phone from my back pocket, and fell into my bed. My phone. The phone I bought and paid for. The phone I paid for services on because Dad was useless. I bought one for Annie, too, so I could keep track of her.

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