Page 10 of His Coveted Obsession

Ugh, I hated it when he called me that. I wasn’t the champ of anything. Heck, I never even played sports back in high school unless I was forced to in P.E. class.

He set his beer can down on the scratched coffee table and stood. “I’ve got something for you,” he said, digging into his pocket. Dad pulled out a large wad of cash and thrust it at me as I walked into the room.

I took it and swallowed hard. He’d won that money gambling, and whenever I took the money on his good days, it felt like I was catering to his addiction, or stealing it somehow. Whatever it was, it felt all wrong, but we also needed the money.

Dad worked, but he blew most of his earnings, which was why I had to work at the coffee shop so much. It helped, but I didn’t make nearly enough to cover all the bills.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

“Use that to pay your tuition next time. I had a really great day. My horse won, and I got over two thousand for it!”

“T-that’s great, Dad.”

I’d tried to get him to stop, but he never listened, or he promised he would after one more bet. He just wanted to win the big one, and he’d be done. But he was never done. And he lost more money than he won. Even worse, he’d sold Mom’s car for cash to bet on, so Annie and I had to take the bus or metro wherever we went.

He pointed at the cash in my hand. “That’s five hundred dollars there. Don’t lose it.”

“I won’t,” I said softly.

“I’ve got dinner waiting for you in the microwave. Got us some burgers from that joint we love.”

Reluctantly, I shoved the cash into my pocket and headed to the kitchen to eat. I was hungry, not having eaten since this morning. Sometimes the coffee shop let us eat pastries that wouldn’t sell because they’d been in the counter display too long.

“Where is it?” screeched Annie from upstairs. “Where the fuck did it go?”

I rushed out of the kitchen to find my younger sister running down the stairs, full of fire in her veins and tears in her eyes. She rarely cried these days unless it was out of anger.

“Annie… what’s happened?”

“He took it! Dad took her ring!”

She blew by me and stormed into the living room, where Dad was watching TV again, but he had shrunk into himself. Dammit. Did he pawn something else?

“Where is it?” she snapped at him.

“Where’s what, honey?” He couldn’t even look at her.

“Don’t ‘honey’ me! Where is Mom’s engagement ring?”

He still didn’t look at us as he shook his head. “I have no idea. The last time I saw it, you kept it in your room.”

“She gave it to me before she died… how could you?”

He turned to scowl at her. “That’s enough, missy! You donottalk to me like that. I’m your father!”

Tears spilled out of her blue eyes as she fisted her hands. “You had no right!”

God, did he pawn Mom’s ring? It wouldn’t be the first time. At this rate, we’d have nothing left, and I didn’t know what to do. My great mood from this morning vanished in a poof. Now I was overwhelmed, with a sense of helplessness.

Annie ran off crying, and I turned to him. “You shouldn’t have sold it, Dad. That was so wrong. When is it going to end? When will it be enough? How long are you going to hurt us for your addiction?”

He still couldn’t look at me as he squirmed on the beat-up sofa. “I didn’t do shit.”

I’d researched gambling addiction. I understood they lied to their families, friends, and themselves. It was hard for them to stop, given the amount of dopamine rushes they received. Eventually, they became more desensitized, so they gambled more and moreto get that rush.

I’d also read that there was little I could do. Only they could stop themselves. All I could do was mention how harmful it was to us. “You hurt her. She’s angry and upset because you can’t control yourself.”

Dad said nothing, pretending to watch TV and drinking his beer.

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