Page 141 of Saints & Sinners
Her breath hitched, her chest rising and falling unevenly as tears fell down her cheeks. She took a step closer, her fiststrembling.
“Grace—” Before I could say anything else, her fists smashed into my chest. They were not strong enough to cause me physical harm, but they still tore me apart in ways that I had not previously considered they were capable of doing.
“I trusted you!” she cried, her voice breaking with every word. “I cared for you! I—I—”
I caught her wrists gently, trying to still her, but she yanked them away. Her glare pierced through me, filled with so much pain it made my soul ache.
“I never wanted to hurt you,” I said, my voice cracking for the first time. “You have to believe me.”
Her tears fell harder as she shook her head. “How did it happen?”
“What?” I asked, confused and desperate.
“How were you corrupted?” she demanded, her voice rising. “Why did you even stay here, knowing you would never be worthy of ascending? Why did you let me get so close to you!”
I tried to speak, but the words lodged in my throat. I couldn’t tell her how Eden had found me at my lowest, how she had whispered lies that I was too desperate to question, how I had let her pull me into the darkness when I thought there was nothing left to save.
Grace’s lips trembled as she watched my silence. She nodded slowly; her voice hollow when she spoke again. “You knew, didn’t you? About Lucas. About that demon that infiltrated the academy. About the Council wanting me to fail. You knew, and you said nothing.”
I stepped toward her, my hand outstretched, but she stepped back, shaking her head.
“Grace,” I pleaded, my voice raw and broken. “I tried to change. Once I met you, I tried. I thought if I stayed away from Eden if Idistanced myself, I could—”
“Redeem yourself?” she finished, her voice bitter.
I faltered, the weight of her words crushing me.
“I told you I’d always be here, no matter what, right?” she interrupted, her voice trembling. “I lied. See how easy it is for me to do that, too?”
I flinched as the words sliced through me, repeating in my head like a cruel mantra.
I lied. I lied. I lied.
“Leave,” she whispered, her tone cold and final.
I didn’t move; my feet were rooted to the ground despite the crushing weight of her gaze.
“Leave!” she screamed, her voice cracking. “Just fucking leave me alone!”
I stared at her, my chest hollow and aching, knowing I couldn’t fight her anymore. She looked at me like I was the monster she always feared I’d become. And maybe I was.
She came up to me and shoved me hard, Marnie’s blood painting my uniform. “Go,” she whispered brokenly this time.
My heart was burning and aching, and there was nothing to soothe it. So, I did what I should have done from the moment Grace came into my life. Turned and walked away.
Every step felt heavier than the last, her sobs following me like ghosts, breaking me apart piece by piece.
And for the first time, I didn’t think there was anything left of me to save.
Chapter Sixty–Three
I felt cold... dead even. It was a feeling that penetrated my bones and that refused to leave. The only thing that seemed to be able to prevent me from falling further apart was the fact that I was sitting against the wall with my knees pulled in close to my chest and my arms wrapped around them.
Marnie lay a few feet away, her body still and silent. Her blood had dried on the stone floor, leaving a dark stain that I knew, no matter what happened, would remain there forever.
I couldn’t bring myself to look at her for too long.
The boys had tried to get me to move. When they returned without a Healer in sight, knowing it was already too late for any kind of help, they began pleading with me to leave this place. Silas had crouched in front of me, trying to coax me out of my stupor. But even I could tell how hurt he was, how he wondered where Hunter was, and how he could fail him when they were friends.
