Page 61 of A World of Ruins

‘It isn’t if it results in you hurting yourself.’ His voice sounds calm, but I know he is worrying.

I huff, snatching my hand away from him and sitting down instead.

He does the same, both of us now cross-legged.

‘Sometimes I wonder if you like to injure yourself just so that I get to touch you,’ he teases, the familiarity of his smirk comforting me as he grabs my hand again.

I give him a look that has that arrogant smile of his widen. ‘Don’t make me regret having ever fallen for you.’

He chuckles before swiftly ripping part of his shirt. ‘We wouldn’t want that now, would we?’ He cocks an eyebrow and I narrow my eyes as the tear of clothing echoes through the air. I watch his teeth sink into his wrist, producing droplets of blood. He then uses that same piece of fabric and smears his blood on it.

His hands work deftly and his attention is solely focused on the stained shirt as he wraps it around my fist.

‘Dragon blood?’ I angle my head with a smile.

He finishes tying the knot. ‘It’s the only thing that luckily still works.’

A weight of shame settles on my shoulders and I look away, finding that exact spot where I once faced the Ardenti.

‘It was here, wasn’t it?’ Darius’s voice echoes, and I turn my head. He’s staring at me now, fixating on how a sigh departs from my lips. ‘Where Sarilyn ordered you to kill one of us.’

‘Yes,’ I whisper, not seeing the point in lying.

He gives me a subtle shake of his head and averts his gaze. ‘I should never have let you help me.’ His jaw tenses. ‘You’d be safer—’

‘I wouldn’t,’ I reply quickly, hoping he sees how wrong he is to blame himself. ‘I was never going to be safe in this life, Darius. We both weren’t.’

He’s still looking off to the side, his brows furrowed like he believes otherwise. Under other circumstances, I know he would have teased me about anything, but all I can hear is Sarilyn’s voice telling me how Darius would never be the same after he remembered.

‘Do you . . .’ It’s as if someone was crushing my windpipe because my words come out choked. ‘. . . remember your time here with Aurum?’

Darius snaps his gaze back to me and it pierces through mine. The anticipating answer lingers between us as he focuses on me and finally says, ‘No.’

I should feel relieved by that answer, but I don’t. Part of me knows it is a lie because if he remembers everything he said in Aeris, that will include his time here.

My tongue darts out to wet my lips, and I say his name, only to be silenced by the sudden movement of him coming closer. He places his hands at the sides of my waist, gently running the pad of his thumb over my clothes.

I draw in a breath, having missed this, yet the lingering guilt persists. Just knowing how much he has endured gnaws at me, and the thought of him being tortured snakes through my mind, weaving into the crevices of regret and poisoning my chest and heart for not having rescued him sooner.

Dropping my head against his chest, I close my eyes, and all I can mumble right now is, ‘I’m sorry about Gus.’

I can feel the rise and drop of his chest as he sighs. ‘I should have known it was him.’ He forces out a laugh. ‘He always treated me differently. In ways, I thought that was only because he wanted me to join him.’

Pulling back, I search his eyes for something that will tell me that he has room to forgive Gus regardless of it all. ‘His intention was never to leave you; he didn’t—’

‘Goldie—’ he breathes, snapping his eyes shut, but I’m nowhere near finished.

‘No, listen to me. Even before you were born, he wanted to protect you and your mother – and when I found out, I was mad at him myself, but if you think—’ I stop when I see he is now smiling at me. Attractive lines carve indents into his cheeks and I frown. ‘What is it?’

He shakes his head, his smile never faltering. It makes my heart ache. ‘I do not care one bit if Gusiswhat he is to me. What matters is that I haveyou.Alive.’

My chest sinks and my head falls against his chest once again. His fingers run up and down my spine as I whisper, ‘For now.’

He stops, touches the sides of my arms and pushes me back so that I look at him. It isn’t anger in his eyes; it’s fear, and I badly want to kick myself over it. ‘Don’t say that.’

I capture my bottom lip between my teeth, looking down at his lap and apologising. Despite the cold, damp air clinging to the stone walls of this dimly lit dungeon, this is the only place I feel safe with him right now.

But then my gaze fixates on the dark colour of his clothes, and images of Sarilyn in that room and the fractured floor beneath us ignite inside my mind.