Page 93 of A World of Ruins

My exhale comes out shaky. ‘That time I came down to the Aerian dungeon, you were counting,’ I explain to myself more than him. ‘It was your body’s way of remembering.’

He nods, running a hand through my hair.

It should have been me, not him.

And though I wouldn’t have survived to the extent that Darius could during that time, I would have endured it all the same.

Darius and I are silent, embracing one another for a long time; two souls longing for a better future and a better life together where no one suffers.

I release him, leaning back. The rain has subsided; our clothes are soaked and sticking to our bodies like a second layer of skin. Through the subtle silver light, Darius looks incredible. The water has only made him glow ten times more. It doesn’t matter whether he believes he is broken or not; he is the moon, carrying the celestial scars that shape our night.

He caresses the side of my face, cupping my cheek as he stares at me. I tilt my head slightly into his hand, letting my lips touch his skin.

Pondering on my past, I say, ‘The day my mother died, she told me she felt better.’ With a gentle tug, I pull his hand away from my face and clutch it instead. ‘She even got up and dressed herself. I thought everything was back to normal . . . I thought that maybe the following day, she could take me to the village where they sold quality carving tools.’ I’m not looking at Darius. My vision is a cloudy haze as I lose focus. ‘I also remember arguing with Idris that day, telling him I was going out to capture butterflies. He said he didn’t want me going out when my mother wasn’t stable. I told him he was blind not to see that she was better. My mother didn’t want me to go out either; she wanted to spend time with me, and I suppose, in her own way, she knew she was dying. She just didn’t want to tell me.’

When I do decide to glance at Darius, he’s already staring at me with thundering intensity. He must be wondering why I am telling him this, but either way, he wants to hear it. He wants tounderstand.

‘I never did end up catching butterflies that day,’ I say. ‘But I did pick up an antique teacup for my mother. It was my way of saying sorry that I still left for the day. Only when I got back, she had already succumbed to her illness.’

Darius leans forward, shaking his head. ‘Goldie—’

‘I broke that teacup.’ Memories of the ceramic shards all over the floor cut into my heart. ‘Out of anger, grief, love.’

A spark of acknowledgement crosses his eyes, and he finally sees what I am trying to say. ‘Did you fix it?’

I smile, shaking my head. ‘No. I got a new one and broke that one too.’

He chuckles as if he should have known that was something I would do.

‘I broke it and used the pieces as well as the scraps from other teapots to put them all together to craft my own teapot.’ I laugh. ‘It was hideous, absolutely hideous, but it wasmineto call ugly.’

A glint of amusement tips the side of his mouth into a smirk. ‘Are you trying to say I’m hideous, Goldie?’

I laugh, annoyed yet pleased to see his old self. ‘Always,’ I whisper, grinning.

I let us bask in this small moment of laughter, before it subsides and we’re left in silence.

I lick my lips, then press three fingers to his heart. His chest rises and falls at a symphonising rate. ‘I don’t care if you are broken,’ I say, staring up into his eyes. ‘Or if you can’t forgive yourself for what has happened in your life. I only care that we are here together, we have a purpose, and we cannot and will never be daunted.’

The expression on his face is so serious, yet the look in his eyes as he stares at me is full of admiration.

Without a word, he slips his palm behind my neck and pulls me towards him. Our lips almost touch as he rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. The warmth of his breath as he sighs sends a welcoming shiver down my legs. ‘I’d be so lost without you in this world, Nara.’

I smile, whispering against his lips, ‘Then it’s a good thing you found me.’

He answers me by capturing my mouth with a slow and lingering kiss. Without another thought, I wrap my arms around his neck and melt against him.

We are both still drenched from the rain, and the feel of his clothes sticking to his muscled body makes me ache for more. Unbuttoning his shirt, I run my fingers down his chest, sighing into his mouth as his tongue slides in, tasting me and savouring every drop.

‘I want you,’ I breathe, rummaging for a way to unhook his breeches. ‘All of you. Always and for ever.’

I receive a low groan in response, his hand fisting the back of my hair right as his cock springs free from his trousers. Straight and ready for me.

Our heavy breaths drown out the sounds of distant rumbling, and I stare at him in wonder, almost salivating.

Like a cautious animal experimenting with something new, I reach for him, cupping his wide length. He grunts in pleasure, growing thicker.

‘You don’t need to do anything, Goldie,’ he says, his voice low and heavy.

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