Page 70 of A World of Ruins

‘Father?’ I choke out.

He shakes his head. ‘Think again.’

I frown, my mind running circles from disbelief.

Images start to form. Blurry at first, but soon it’s all I can see.

The arena.

Aurum.

Darius and I before we . . .

I look up and whisper my realisation. ‘Solaris.’

He smiles, moving towards me, yet I can’t seem to unfreeze myself from this very spot.

I place a hand over my abdomen, feeling where Darius had stabbed me. ‘How—’

‘This is not my true form,’ Solaris says. ‘It is only what you wish to see. In this case, you chose your father.’

Short puffs of air release from my chest. I glance at the kitchen, then Solaris as my father. He looks exactly like the day I last saw him. He has let his beard grow – the kind that would scratch me when he kissed my cheeks and turn copper in the sun.

I press my lips together, forcing myself not to cry as I blink a few times. ‘And is he . . .’ I don’t dare try to finish the sentence, but Solaris reads me well.

Looking at me with that serene smile, he says, ‘He is well. Content among the stars, as is your mother.’

The thought relieves me more than I thought anything ever would.

Solaris jerks his head for me to follow him out of our cottage and into the fields of my once home. ‘I have waited centuries for this moment, Naralía,’ he says, turning to me. ‘The moment when you and I could finally speak.’

My eyes wander the lands, the unfurling grass and pathways that lead deep into the Screaming Forests. I wrap my arms around my body, breathing in the illusion of this place. ‘Is Darius—’

‘With Crello, yes,’ Solaris completes what I had thought would be the case. I glance at him. ‘But of course, you know that.’

I shrug, then remember I am not talking to my father. I am talking to a deity. ‘You and Crello sacrificed your lives to be together,’ I say softly. ‘So did I.’

‘And as did Darius.’

We stare at each other in silence, until he asks, ‘Did you think it was going to work?’

I cast my mind back to my last moments in the arena. Sacrificing our lives was never on the cards, until I remembered the Galgr. It was a shot in the darkness, and I believe even Solaris has to know that. ‘No,’ I answer truthfully, ‘but I believed in him.’

Solaris’s smile elicits a twinge in my heart. I clear my throat. ‘So, what now? Will I ever see my brothers again?’Will I see Darius, Freya, Link and Rydan?

Solaris turns and starts walking again. ‘That is up to you.’ He stops to pick up a buttercup. ‘I’ve watched you all yourlife, Nara.’ He’s staring off into the distance, and it is such a strange sight to behold, knowing it isn’t really my father who is talking to me. ‘I have seen your highs and your lows, and I have understood you far better than most.’ When he turns to face me, he hands me the buttercup, his blue eyes digging fiercely into mine. ‘I am you.’

‘Then what am I to do?’ My words come out like a plea. I feel stuck, unsure of it all. ‘I do not want to let anyone down.’

‘And you won’t,’ he whispers, touching my shoulder. The touch is delicate, almost encouraging. ‘There is a reason why I picked you, Nara. You fight just as fiercely as you love.’

A million worries crash against my chest. I pick at the buttercup between my fingers until nothing is left but the stem and the sticky residue of honeydew. ‘What will happen if I choose to accept who I am?’

‘Then you will become the true immortal vessel you were meant to be.’

Immortal.

I’d no longer need to fear a future without Darius, but . . . my friends, my brothers. They will age, whereas I’ll remain unchanged. I’ll have to witness them grow old, perish and depart from this world, leaving me behind.

---