Page 132 of A World of Ruins

I shake my head and look down at Idris. His face is even paler now, all that golden colour consumed by a shifter’s bite. ‘Get up, Idris,’ I say to him andonlyhim.

He never answers me.

My lips wobble and I whisper, ‘Please?’ I can taste the salty tears as they slide down my face. ‘You made a promise to Father that you were always going to look after me, so fulfil it. Get up and tell me we will work this out. Argue with me, tell me how annoying I am, just do something!’

From the corner of the room, Freya’s sobs turn into devastating whimpers. I cast a desperate glance in her direction, begging for her help, but she breaks down and turns to Rydan, who wraps his arms around her in consolation.

I feel the tears streaming down my face, hot and relentless as they carve paths down my cheeks that sting. ‘Get up!’ I yell again, my voice raw and commanding.

Hands reach out to pick me up, but I push them away, not realising it is Link until I look. ‘No!’ I cry and he clutches his chest in sorrow. ‘He is going to wake up.’

I glance around at everyone else. Lorcan can barely look me in the eye, while my brothers just hold on to Idris.

‘Nara,’ Rydan says, still holding Freya in his arms. ‘I think we should—’

‘He’s not dead!’ I shout, but that isn’t what Rydan was going to say. It is almost as if I needed to say it out loud to deceive myself. ‘He—’ I stare at them all like a mad woman. ‘He—’

I crack.

As soon as my gaze lands on Darius and he looks at me with that twisted anguish in his eyes, my soul ruptures and I let out a wailing scream.

I scream and cry and shout for my brother to come back.

‘Don’t leave me,’ I sob, my chest aching with grief. ‘Please—’

Darius then grabs at me, pulling me into a tight embrace despite me now hitting and scratching at him to let go.

He lets me do it even as exhaustion consumes me, and I bawl into his arms. He holds on to me, rocking us back and forth on our knees. I don’t know how much time passes, but soon enough, I order everyone to leave, except for Iker and Illias. And for the rest of the night, I remain by Idris’s side, my cheek lying on his chest as I sing our childhood lullaby.

CHAPTERFIFTY-SEVEN

The smoke from the pyre that Enox has lit aflame outside the courtyard twists and writhes towards the sky, carrying the essence of my brother with it. I stand silently among everyone close to me, mourning him as my gaze stays fixed upon the flickering flames that consume Idris.

I’m no longer crying. There’s nothing left in metocry.

The scent of burning cedarwood is heavy, and the cries of everyone around me burden me with even more sorrow. It’s then that I feel the presence of a dozen beings behind me.

Turning to look, I see the faces of different creatures staring at me. Deers, rabbits, dragons – all of them look to me for comfort and safety. Tibith walks past them with Fernah at his side. He looks so small beside her, and his eyes glisten with tears.

I smile at him to let him know I am okay. But that would be a lie. Everyone knows it would be.

Shifting my gaze towards the pyre, I squeeze Darius’s hand. I don’t look at him, but I know his eyes are already on me.

I could have done something. We could both have together. I know it. I want to at least believe it – that as Solaris and Crello’s vessels, there might have been a way.

Come back, my mind says.I need you, Idris.

Yet, as his body turns to ashes, I know he never will.

I stand inside my brother’s room, staring at the tools he used to craft weapons and straps. The bed is made, the pillows are fluffed and ready for him to lay down on.

There is a knock at the door and I peer over my shoulder to where Darius now stands against the jamb. He walks inside and I search the depths of his gold eyes, seeking to borrow his strength for myself as he comes to a stop.

‘He’s gone,’ I whisper, my voice breaking.

And yet everything that belonged to him remains intact.

Darius’s gaze holds mine, unflinching, before he wraps me in his arms. My body aches for the release of tears, but I can’t cry. I’m numb; I’m broken; I’m barely surviving.

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