Page 98 of The Boss

That could be me one day, I suppose. Walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that cost more than my college education. Paid for by my magnanimous wife Julianna Marcon. You know, assuming I’m assed to take her back.

Even though I want to.

Even though I look at her and instantly hold back the urge to run up to her and cry that I’m so sorry, that I forgive her, that we can hurry up and get married once her brother’s done.

I want it so badly.

But I must be strong. I came here to support Ted and Jordan, a couple I barely know. I came here to give Julianna her final chance. No script. No preparation. She’ll either win me back (unlikely,) or drive me away forever (more than likely.)

The fact that today might be the last time I ever see her like this…

My heart skips a beat. For a single moment, I allow myself to fantasize that this is my wedding day and that tonight Julianna will slowly strip my white wedding dress away from my body and make me her wife.

The moment is over way too soon. So is the ceremony.

I spend the next hour avoiding Julianna. Not hard to do when five hundred other people are clamoring to shake the newlyweds’ hands and regale them with tales oftheirweddings. Holden and I slip into the reception undetected, although I’m sure Julianna is losing her mind trying to find me while still upholding her best woman duties. It’s her job to stand with her parents beside Ted and shake hands as people enter the reception area. Their father is already making a fool of himself, while their mother thanks people for coming to “the spectacle.” Holden and I bypass it entirely. I’ll give Ted and Jordan my love later.

The Marcons did not hold back on the expenses for this reception. Everything, from the dishes to the silverware to the vases holding whole bouquets of fresh, exotic flowers, is made of either pure crystal or gold. The tablecloths are handstitched with gold thread. A live jazz band flown in from LA performs for most of the night, taking turns between upbeat instrumentals to slow, achingly sweet love ballads as sung by the talented female lead. Every guest is decked out in either designer wear or tailor-made garments. Everyone smells good. Everyone has perfect manners. Everyone takes happy selfies and shots with photographers. This kind of wedding doesn’t keep disposable cameras on the tables for the guests to fill up. Instead, three professional photographers are making the rounds, and Holden and I are one of the first to be asked for a “casual pose.” Holden, of course, puts his arm on the back of my chair and makes it look like we’re a couple.

I know that Julianna is only a few feet away before she even sees me.

It’s not because I see her through a small throng of people laughing and carrying on about their trips to Milan and Tahiti. It’s because my ex-girlfriend’s presence is so strong, so intimidating, that there could be a concrete wall erected betweenus, and I would still know that she’s there, looking for me. Perhaps she’s been making her way toward me this whole time.

“Going to get some punch,” I say to Holden. When he moves to accompany me, I hold out a gentle hand and jerk my head toward the ladies’ room. Punch is code, dude.“Be careful,” he says before sitting back down.

I want to get away from Julianna’s overwhelming presence. If it means crossing the room full of people dancing to live jazz music, then I’ll do it. Give me some peace for a while, please.

Of course, I’m not allowed any peace. The moment I reach the other side of the dance floor, I feel that presence again, like I did back at the Bradford & Marcon building, and like I did at that park in Northwest Portland.

“Alessa.”

Her voice is so hushed that it’s a wonder I can hear her over the happy rabble of wedding attendees. My hands grab the purple tulle on my skirt. Because with Julianna right next to me like this, I’m nothing but a bundle of nerves.

What is she going to say? What is she going to do? How will I react? This is it. She’s using up her third chance to get me back. I knew this moment would come, but I wasn’t prepared for possibly never seeing her again.

“I love you.”

Wait. Did I hear that right?

I fully turn my body toward her, my head cocked to one side. “What was that?”

She takes a step closer to me. This powerful businesswoman, who rarely wears her heart on her bespoke sleeve, is prepared to show me her whole heart. “I love you, Alessa. I’m sorry I never told you sooner. I foolishly assumed I would have all the time in the world to tell you how I really feel.”

“You… you love me…” I shake my head. “You think that’s enough to get me back?”

“No.”

I take another step back. “Excuse me?”

She holds her hand out to me as a new song begins. “I haven’t danced with anyone tonight. Please let me have the chance to show you how I feel instead of telling you.” She chuckles. “You know better than anyone that I am not always the best with words.”

As if I am possessed, I take her hand and am led to the dance floor, where other well-to-do couples canoodle and network. While half the couples here are heterosexual, quite a few male pairs are snuggling up and laughing with their friends. We’re the only female pair.

They all cease to exist the moment I’m in Julianna’s arms.

Don’t I remember what this is like? How much I loved being in her hold like this? In the beginning, I couldn’t believe that it was true. That someone like Julianna Marcon could want me to be her girlfriend… and later on, when she talked about us being together for years… I knew it was too good to be true. That’s why finding out the truth about why we first hooked up hurt me more than anything else.

Now that I’m back in her arms, I almost feel that way again. But I can’t succumb to those feelings. Julianna might want to show me her feelings, but I still need to use logic and reason right now. I can’t be that virgin who was summoned to her office based on a stupid bet. God! Literally anyone else would have been better than me. Lizzie, Cher… those girls could’ve handled being seduced by Ms. Marcon, let alone moving on from her the moment she stopped showing affection. Maybe they would’ve been pissed if they found out the truth, but heartbroken? Hardly. Only me, young and naïve Alessa, could have fallen into a hole like that.

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