Page 40 of The Boss

Who isn’t so sweet, if you know what I mean.

Now that we’re alone, now that we’re in my place, all I can think about is being close to her. But I restrain myself. I mind over matter my body’s desires. I want her in the right way, at the right time.

First, dinner.

She was right. It’s considerably colder now that the sun is setting, but the view over the river is stunning enough to make it worth it. Lights come on in the surrounding residential skyrises. Pleasure boats come to the docks down on the water. Planes litter the sky, taking off and landing at the international airport. The sun sets behind us, but we still have a gallant view of snowy Mt. Hood that has Alessa snapping a thousand pictures on her phone.

“Can we take a selfie?” she asks.

“A… what?”

She scoots her chair closer to mine. Her phone hovers above us, the camera flipped to the mirror setting. Or so I thought it was until now. The only time I set my phone to that is when I need an appearance check before meeting someone. I didn’t know it was for taking selfies.

“I suppose. You’re not posting it online, are you?”

“I don’t have to. I can keep it on my phone.”

“All right.”

My mug doesn’t need to be plastered all over her Instabooks and Facegrams, or whatever they’re called. In my venture capitalist days, I funded a few social media websites and apps, only to watch them blow up or be acquired by some of my competitors. Since then, I don’t bother.

“Smile!” Alessa’s blooms across her visage like a sunny spring day. I twitch the corners of my mouth, and that’s the best she’s getting out of me. “I said smile, Julianna.”

“I am smiling.”

“Oh, well…”Click! A still of us swipes across the phone screen. “Good enough.” She pulls her phone down and punches buttons until that unflattering picture of us is her background photo. “There! Now we’re a real couple.”

I take my chances with those words in my ears. “Does that mean you’ve forgiven me for this week’s mishap?”

Her smile disappears. Chills claim her shoulders, and I’m there, wrapping my arm around her and nuzzling my nose against her temple. Ah, her hair smells of jasmine and other such flowers. Beneath the shampoo and perfume, I get a whiff of her natural scent. The one that consumes me, makes me want to be closer. We've only been like this twice. I need the third time like I need air.

“I’ve learned to accept that there are some things about you I’ll have to get used to.”

We move inside, where the cold breeze won’t bother us. I don’t turn on any more lights, even though we remain standing by the sliding glass door. “What does that mean?”

“You were being practical. In a most offensive way, but practical. Meeting your family showed me that you were raised to think about these things differently. You’ve apologized.”

“But you still haven’t quite forgiven me.”

“Oh, I’ve forgiven you, Jules. I simply haven’t forgotten yet.”

I pull her into my arms, kissing her hard. “What do I have to do to make you forget?”

Although she responds to my kisses, it’s not with gumption.

This is a good start, though, isn’t it?

“I’ve realized some things, too.” I pull away, the taste of her lips still on mine. “Namely, that there is no point to this relationship if we’re not into it. If you don’t want me as much as I want you, I can let you go, Lessa.”

“What?”

Is that panic in her voice? While that wasn’t what I pursued, I don’t mind accepting it. “You heard me. If you’re too angry at me or treating this like a contract so you take advantage of the situation, then I’m not interested. I want you to want me as much as I yearn for you.”

“You make it sound like those things are different.”

Aren’t they? A woman desires with her heart and soul, yes? But it’s more than that.

“I’ll be as accommodating as you want me to be, Lessa.” My hand curls around her wrist. She looks away from me, chomping on that lip like she does every time she’s wrestling with her thoughts. “Because I want you in my life. Don’t you get that? I’m jumping through these hoops. I’m taking you to meet my parents. I’m doing everything as legally as possible because I don’t want any obstructions between us. I want you to want me as unabashedly as I yearn for you.”

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