Page 102 of Plus Size Player

A star?

The feelings Russ brought out of me were to be expected—he was one of the good ones. He and I connected in such a significant wayandthe sex was unmatched. But the feeling of being validated by industry professionals who could elevate my career was huge. I thought about all of the women who would be inspired by me, my presence, my body, my style.

The point of having a roster is that anyone can get replaced,I reminded myself.This opportunity is once in a lifetime.

I had to make peace with the fact that I wasn’t going to replace Russ. Meeting someone fun or smart or romantic would start rebuilding my roster and that was a step in the right direction. But I knew my heart wasn’t in it. I just had to hope that being mildly entertained by lesser men would feel a lot better than being down bad over a man I was prohibited from dating.

Just the thought of my last few dates caused me to purse my lips in displeasure. Having to let Russ go gave me no joy. I hadn’t seen him on a personal level since the morning he’d left my place. It killed me not to talk to him or spend time with him. To know wedidn’t have upcoming plans was a constant reminder of how much I actually missed him.

I tried to ignore the empty pit thinking about spending time with him created within me.

Dammit.

15

“Thank God it’s Friday, am I right?” Lori asked me and Taisha as we rode the elevator to the RLF office. “First week of photoshoots are wrapping up, and I’m glad our location for today is on the roof because I get to check out the shoot! Are you looking forward to having a weekend off? Any plans?”

“My cousin’s having a party this weekend,” I told them.

“Oh, nice!” Lori reacted. “We’ve been keeping all of you so busy this week. I’m sure you’re ready for a break.”

“It’s been a lot of fun,” Taisha replied. “I’ve actually enjoyed it.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing the final images,” I answered, sidestepping the question.

Hell yeah, I’m looking forward to having the weekend off!

I needed a break, and I needed some time to recuperate. Spending one week not seeing Russ at all, followed by one week seeing Russ almost every day while we pretended not to know each other, was too much. On the surface, it was uneventful—just a few sidelong glances and the unmistakable feeling of his eyes on me when my back was turned. But internally, I was in turmoil. I wanted him. The attraction was intense. The thing that took me by surprise was how I longed for his company just as much as his dick.

If I were being really honest with myself, I missed spending time with him. I missed being with him. I missed the way he made me feel. The Funny One was hilarious—truly a good time. The Smart One was incredibly intelligent—such a good conversationalist.

But Russ—

My eyes widened as I stared out the opened elevator door.

Russ!

“Mr. Long,” Lori greeted him cheerfully as we exited. “Have you had a chance to meet Taisha and Nina? I know I introducedyou to Matias and Jonah, but the ladies weren’t around during that introduction.”

He nodded, only briefly glancing over at us with a tight smile. “Yes, I met them last week.”

“So, you didn’t see them in their outfits for the ball?” She gestured to us with her thumbs. “I was hoping you might’ve seen Nina’s boyfriend. She made him the RLF accessory!” Lori exclaimed, still amused two weeks later.

For the first time, Russ looked directly at me and stared silently for a moment. “What?”

I opened my mouth to respond, trying to figure out how to deny what she was saying without being obvious, but before I had a chance to come up with anything, Lori continued talking.

“She had him wear the shirt from your very first T-shirt press with a tailored suit! It was quite nostalgic and made such an impression! And the outfit reminded me of something you would wear, to be honest.”

He clenched his jaw before forcing a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I missed that.”

Oh, he’s pissed.

Lori continued as if she hadn’t thrown a grenade. “Yeah, and Taisha…”

She paid Taisha a compliment that I didn’t hear because I was still trying to find my voice.

Russ was a professional, so I knew he wasn’t going to say or do anything that implicated either of us. But I was surprised his poker face wasn’t better. The clenched jaw, tight lips, and darkened eyes made it evident to me, but I wasn’t sure if anyone else noticed. Either way, I knew I needed to clear up the misunderstanding.

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