Page 72 of Everything's Coming Up Rosie

“I disagree,” I say. “You know your stuff.”

He huffs.

“I just mean...” Hereallysets me on edge. “I didn’t know you were more than just a tech guy.” A flash of his tearful face at the end of my performance washes over me. I want to ask him why.

“It seems there’s a lot you don’t know.” He turns.

“So tell me.”

He stops, and I white-knuckle the strap of my bag, bracing myself for what I fear is coming.

He turns around and meets my eyes, studies me for a beat, like he’s not sure I’m worth his time. Or maybe like he’s not sure my skin is thick enough to hear what he has to say.

“You didn’t give everything you had to that song in the cafeteria.”

I start to protest, but he cuts me off.

“I saw it the second you pulled back.”

Oh wow. Heknew.

“Most people wouldn’t catch it, but I know that song—intimately.” He presses his lips together, and I know there’s more to that story. I also know the odds of me ever hearing it are slim, which makes me want to know even more.

“It’s like you were afraid to trust yourself in the moment you needed to most.” He shakes his head. “Full of doubt.”

I steel my jaw, and he seems to notice that too. He seems to notice everything.

He tilts his head, still studying me. “And if I had to guess, I’d say there’s a whole part of you that you don’t access when you work.”

I swallow, and it’s so quiet in here that I hear the noise of it in my head like it’s a sound effect in a cartoon.

He leans forward. “You’re holding back.”

My laugh is nervous. “You got all that from one performance?”

He shrugs.

“I must’ve done something right,” I say before I lose my nerve. “It made you cry.”

He goes still but doesn’t turn back.

I stop breathing in anticipation of whatever he’s going to say next, but he starts walking again and calls over his shoulder, “Try not to drive into a ditch on the way home.”

And then he’s gone, and all that’s left on the stage is the dim ghost light and me.

Chapter 19

The next day, I wake up still thinking about my conversation with Arthur.

I felt that performance in my bones, but he saw that second where the self-doubt creeped in.

It’s not the first time someone has told me I’m holding back. But honestly, what do people expect of me? I can’t cut myself open and bleed every time I’m on the stage.

Even though I know for a fact that’s exactly what I’m supposed to do.

You can’t make anyone else feel anything if you aren’t willing to feel it yourself.

Had Arthur really picked up on that just from that one performance? Did he see the slight hesitation when I started singing or the one just before the high note?

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