Page 14 of Everything's Coming Up Rosie

The three of us in unison shout “Stiff Kitty!” and then laugh.

“How can you not remember that?” I ask Taylor. “Their logo was a cat face with X’s for eyes, stuck to the grill of a car.”

“Say what you want, I don’t care.” Maya fakes getting defensive, then looks at me. “I didn’t have as much to go on for your profile,Rosie, but I still think it came together. You’ll need to download the app, and all the notifications will come right to your inbox. I texted you the log-in info.”

“Maya, I’m even less interested in dating than Marnie is,” I tell her.

“Why? Don’t you want to meet some drummer in a band and live happily ever after?” Maya teases.

“Aren’t those two things mutually exclusive?” I ask.

She makes a face. “Good men are out there. Look at Aaron”—she motions to Taylor—“And Matty.” She smiles a little to herself. “You two both deserve to be as happy as we are.”

“Aaron leaves his underwear on the bathroom floor, and he still plays video games until 2:00 a.m.” Taylor sighs. “So you actually might be a little happier than I am right now.”

When she realizes we’re all looking at her, she scrunches her face and quickly adds, “I’m sorry. I’m just hormonal.”

Maya shrugs this off like she’s used to it. “I have a good feeling about this summer, Ro.”

“I’m still struggling with your use of the wordmen.” I groan. “Are we old enough to be dating men?”

“Heck yeah,” Maya says. “And don’t settle for dating some boy. You deserve to be dating a man.”

Maya takes my phone out of the drink holder, sticks it in front of my face to use facial recognition to open it and starts clicking. “I’m just going to download the app... right... there.” She flips it around and points to a hot-pink square with a red heart in the middle. “This is it. Love Match. I set up push notifications so anytime someone likes your profile or leaves a message, you get a text.”

“Oh no,” I say. “No notifications. Take that off.”

She mockingly shrugs. “I’m sorry, I forgot how to do that.”

I narrow my eyes playfully. “You’re the worst.”

“I look forward to hearing you take that back when you find the love of your life,” she says, her tone wistful. “You can thank me later.”

“I’m not a casual dater, Maya, you know that. I’m not even a biannual dater.” I drop my phone back in my giant bag. It’ll sink down into the abyss, and I’ll have to dump everything out to find it, but at least it’s safe from Maya’s impending matchmaking.

“I don’t see the point in dating people I have no interest in marrying,” I continue. “Isn’t that the whole reason people go on dates? Find the match, walk the aisle, pump out two point five kids?”

“Rosie, I swear, you’re an eighty-seven-year-old woman trapped in a hot, twenty-nine-year-old body.”

“Actually, I am,” I quip. “Get off my lawn.”

She laughs and sits back.

I muse, “I like people, but I like to be home too. Honestly, my idea of a perfect date would be, like, making dinner at home and binge-watchingThe Office.” I shrug. “Too much going out is exhausting.”

“Maybe that’s why you’re still single,” Taylor pipes in.

I point a finger at her in agreement. “Maybe thatiswhy I’m still single.”

“Well, if you and Marnie don’t start putting yourselves out there, you’re going to end up like Miss Bates.” She puckers her lips in what I can only assume is supposed to be an old-spinster expression, or her impersonation of one of the actresses who played Miss Bates in one of the manyEmmaadaptations.

“I happen tolikeMiss Bates,” I say. “She’s the underdog.”

“There’s just one problem, Ro.” Maya peers at me, like she’s about to say something important. “The underdog doesn’t usually win.”

Before my mind can process that, Taylor pulls the car into an empty parking space in front of the bus station. “We’re here!”

We get out of the car and walk around the back. I open the hatch and pull out my suitcase, and after I’ve closed the trunk, I turn and face them.

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