Page 64 of Everything's Coming Up Rosie

“I’m on the prowl,” the dummy says. “I’m looking to find me a may-un!”

“A may-un?” The woman repeats in a dramatic and drawn-out voice.

“I’ve got needs, Miss Kathleen,” the dummy says, though it seems Kathleen has given up on not moving her mouth. “A whole list of needs.”

Kathleen pulls a small piece of paper from the pocket of the dummy’s bikini bottoms as Ginny leans closer to me and barks, “What did she just say?”

I leap to my feet. “Oh my gosh! Yes! No! Great! Thank you! Incredible job. We’ll... uh, we’ll let you know!”

“No.Shot.” Dylan gasps and laughs, and I see she filmed the entire thing.

“Dylan! Don’t you dare post that,” I snap.

She doesn’t move. “This one’s just for me. That literally made my whole summer.”

The old woman looks unfazed. “Do you want me to grab my other puppets? I have a sexy taxi driver, a sexy loan shark, a sexy Bill Gates...”

“Oh, wow, okay”—I’m stuttering now—“That’s a lot of sexy puppets. You know, I think we’re good. We’re, you know... We’ll let you know, okay?”

She grins at me and coos, “We’ll be waiting...”

I shudder, then slump in my chair.

“Oh my word,” Connie breathes.

“Horrible, terrible, awful,” Veronica says.

“It’s been hilarious.” Dylan smirks, tapping on her phone with a wry grin on her face.

Connie slowly hands the paper back to me. “I can see you’ve...ahem...got your work cut out for you.”

I take the paper. “Yeah, it’s been interesting, to say the least.”

She frowns. “None of the people from the last show are on this list. I don’t understand.”

“Maybe putting me in charge made them change their mind,” I say, thinking I realistically can’t handle this. “Maybe they don’t want an outsider directing their musical?”

“It’s Belinda.” Ginny points her finger in my direction.

“I thought nobody liked Belinda,” I say dumbly.

“Typical mean girl. Nobody likes her, but everyone fears her,” Ginny says. “They’re afraid auditioning for your show will make her mad.”

“Seriously?” This is more drama than high school. I sigh.

“Maybe you need to show them that you know what you’re doing,” Veronica says. “Do you have one of those demo reels? We could play it on the TVs all over the campus.”

“She doesn’t have one,” Connie says. “I already looked. She did play a dead body onLaw & Order,though.”

“Cool,” Dylan says.

“A dead body?” Arthur scoffs, waving a hand in the air like he can’t be bothered with me anymore. “That’s the acting equivalent of a garden slug.”

I put my hands on my temples and rub slow circles. “I can’t even convince a bunch of old people in a retirement community that I know what I’m doing.”

“Oh, stop it.”

I drop my hands and look up to find Arthur leaning across the table, glaring at me.

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