Page 69 of Never Been Shipped

They’d already graduated to playing some non-ElectricOh! songs, mostly nostalgic ones from around the same era or crowd-pleasers he knew everyone would know the words to. But now John started playing a fingerpicked tune, watching Micah’s face as she realized what it was.

“That’smysong,” she said.

The closing track off her solo album, technically. It was a somber song, and he’d always thought it interesting that she’d chosen it to close out the record on such a down note. He supposed it was possible she hadn’t had control over the sequencing of that, but somehow he knew that had been her choice. It had seemed almost prescient, to have this album full of danceable hits end on a song that seemed to be all about regret, the final recorded song Micah would ever put out. At least so far.

“It’s a good song,” he said.

“Kind of a bummer to end the night on.”

He tilted his head, listening to the music. Itwassad. But it was hopeful, too. There was something in the way the lead line just repeated and repeated at the end that had always made John think, strangely, of a time-lapse video of a flower blooming. It felt like the song was a bud held very tight, but in the last few seconds you got the sense that it might open up.

He started singing, barely even using his voice, more a suggestion of the words than a full-out vocalization. He let himself drop off once Micah took over, and for the next few minutes it was just her voice and his guitar. The people who had stuck around to keep watching were silent, and somehow John knew it wasn’t because they weren’t familiar with this song, but because they knew they were watching something special, and it was better to let Micah handle this one alone.

He played those recursive notes at the end, only he just kept playing them, reluctant to let the song resolve all the way.

“Thank you for hanging out with us,” he said to the crowd. “Really, I mean it. Thank you.”

“Who’s excited for prom?” Micah asked, and it was the exact right thing to say, because a whoop went up so loud that she started laughing. “All right, all right. Us, too. We’ll see you there?”

John took that as his cue to finally finish the song, sliding his pick between the strings of his guitar as he packed it back away in its case. They stuck around to take a few more pictures, and then it was just them again, heading as if by silent agreement back to the deck with their rooms.

“That was the best date I’ve ever been on,” she said, leaning against his arm. The lights were bright in the elevator, and he could see that she was tired. He almost felt guilty for a minute, like he shouldn’t have kept her out that late when heknewthey had a big day tomorrow, but then he remembered that they could sleep all day if they wanted to. And he hoped she was tired in the same way he was—in that loose, pleasant way where he looked forward to snuggling up with her in bed and letting himself fall down into the deepest sleep.

“I want to take you on a date where I cantouchyou,” he said. “I want—”

He broke off, because he realized the impossibility of what he was about to say. They were about to return to their homes on opposite sides of the country, so there was no point in dreaming about some big future that couldn’t exist.

“What?” she asked.

He also realized how silly it probably sounded, the fantasyhe’d had since he was a teenager. Something as simple as watching a movie with her, being able to put his arm around her shoulders, having her feet in his lap, ignoring the movie to make out slowly, leisurely, like they had all the time in the world because they did.

He laughed, picking the guitar case back up when the elevator stopped on their floor. “I want a shower, and then I want to go to bed. How about you?”

“Sounds perfect.”

They ended up in his room for the illogical reason that it was the first one they arrived at, and if they’d had any ideas about getting up to anything in the shower, they were laid to rest by what a comedy of errors it was to even fit the two of them in the narrow cubby. John carefully unwrapped the bandage around Micah’s hand, holding her wrist gently to avoid bumping her as they shifted around in the tight shower. She had to practically hug him in order to spread soapy water all over his body, and he returned the favor by massaging shampoo into her hair and helping her rinse it out. When they finally got under the covers, they were both naked and every time Micah moved he could smell the body wash they’d both used.

“I can’t believe how much I was dreading this cruise,” she said, turning in his arms so she was facing him. He couldn’t make out a single detail of her face, that was how total the darkness was in his room, but her voice was low and filled with something like wonder. “Like, Ireallydid not want to do it.”

“Why did you?”

She was quiet so long that he almost thought she wasn’t going to answer, but then she ran her hands up his arms, herfingers featherlight on his skin. “I wanted to see you,” she said. “I knew I had to see you.”

“Not just me.”

“No,” she allowed. “I needed that closure with everyone. But you…it was different with you. The minute my dad even brought you up, how much time you used to spend at our house, I said yes so fast. At the time it was more like I wanted him to stop talking, didn’t want to hear him even say yournamebecause of the way I knew it would make me feel. But it was also because of the way it made me feel that I said yes. Do you know what I mean?”

He knew exactly what she meant. And yet he didn’t at all, had no idea if they were singing the same song but in a different key.

“Luckily there was no need to say my name,” John said. “JustSECOND GUITARIST—all caps, of course, except there was one time whenguitaristwas misspelled, I don’t know if you caught that—where the second guitarist will participate in two, parentheses number two, cruise-sanctioned activities including but not limited to—”

She squeezed his biceps. “Not only did you bring the contract with you, but you memorized it?”

“Oh, it’s somewhere back home buried under a bunch of other mail. I just said that to get Ryder to shut the fuck up. But now I’m going to put it in my cruise scrapbook, so I can remember what brought us back together.”

She rolled over again, snuggling back into him as he put his arm over her.

“I’m glad it did,” she said, pressing a kiss to his palm beforeputting his hand directly on her breast. He tweaked her nipple, liking something about being able to touch her even in these small ways that didn’t always have to lead to anything more.

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