Page 81 of Caught Up

“Come on,” Josh said, shoving my shoulder to get me moving. “Inside.”

I stalked into their house, glad for the silence. It was too loud outside to think straight.

“What’d you do to get free of my old man?” I said, finally asking Josh outright.

He looked toward the back door and the party just beyond, checking to see if we were really alone. “Threatened to rip his entire life apart, including your family. No offense.”

I blinked. That was it. Family. The one thing Dad cared about more than anything else in the world. It was why he’d blackmailed Aly and Josh into coming to monthly dinners, why he tried to exert so much control over me and my brothers. His own parents had disowned him when he joined the mob, and his greatest fear in life was that everyone else he loved would one day abandon him, too.

“Can you actually follow through on your threats?” I asked Josh.

He crossed his arms over his chest and nodded, his other side entering the conversation. “Yes.”

“I’ve got a plan brewing in my head, but I don’t know if it will work or blow up in my face.” I laid it out for him from start to finish, watching his eyes widen and his brows climb up his forehead.

When I was done, he smiled. “That sounds like a complete shit show.”

“You in?”

“Fuck, yeah,” he said.

26

Lauren

“That was nice,” I said.

I was two glasses of wine deep, warm from spending the day outdoors, and tired from all the talk and laughter. Junior and I were on the way back to my place, and the sun was setting over the cityscape in the distance, painting the sky orange and pink. I yawned and leaned back in my seat. A nap sounded so nice.

“I’m glad you had a good time,” Junior said, forearm flexing as he downshifted.

Or maybe some slow, lazy sex,I thought, eyeing him. His hair was mussed from the wind rushing through his open window, and theshort-sleevedshirt he wore was pulled tight across his chest and stomach.

I’d never been so attracted to him before. And not just in a sexual way. Earlier, when Aly asked what I do for a living, I faltered, not knowing how to respond. In any other situation, I would have told her with pride, but I hadn’t known if that was the right call. It was one thing for Junior tosayhe accepted what I did, but I knew firsthand how complicated family dynamics could be. Even though Aly seemed equally accepting—especially given who she was engaged to—I didn’t know how she’d feel about her cousin dating a camgirl. Junior had surprised me by placing his hand on my low back and nodding, telling me without words that I should be honest.

I knew right then that he was serious about not being ashamed of me. In the past, I’d had to skirt around my work on more than one occasion because of a partner’s discomfort. That I could be open now filled me with a euphoric feeling of relief, one that fizzed through my body like champagne bubbles, leaving me energized and excited. And when Aly and the other nurses we’d been talking to didn’t bat an eye? A weight lifted off my shoulders I wasn’t even aware of.

Things were changing. People were kinder and more accepting than ever before. At least in our generation. It gave me hope that someday in the future, sex workers would be able to speak openly about their lives without any fear of judgment or reprisal. And maybe that made me naïve, or overly optimistic, but so much had changed for the better just in the years I’d been camgirling that it didn’t seem like a fantasy; it felt not only possible, but inevitable.

Junior shifted gears, picking up speed as we raced down the highway. Had I been too quick to judge him? Too quick to discount what this was between us? We’d agreed to keep it casual, a way to finally explore the spark between us, but this afternoon had me questioning myself, had me questioning him.

The man had spenttenyearslooking out for me. That didn’t speak of a passing attraction or idle interest. It spoke of determination. Commitment. And sure, maybe he could have been protecting me out of guilt for not being there when I’d needed him most, but if it was only guilt, wouldn’t he have stopped when he realized I was okay? That what happened hadn’t actually ruined my life?

This clearly wasn’t casual. Not for Junior, and I was beginning to realize not for me either. I cared what happened to him, wanted to see him succeed in going legit, was even willing to help in whatever capacity I could, though I doubted he would let me. And I liked the way he made me feel when we were together: cherished, special. I liked the little glimpses of his humor that were starting to peek through more and more. I liked that he shared my voyeurism kink. I was excited to explore more with him. God help me, part of me even liked the darker aspects of his personality. My line of work didn’t come without risks, and knowing there was a scary motherfucker with a skewed moral compass looking out for me made me feel safe and protected. I had no doubt that if a sub ever crossed the line and tried to find me, Junior would take care of it before I was even aware of the danger.

And who knew, maybe we weren’t compatible in the long run and our time together was only fleeting, but after today the thought of somethingmorewith him didn’t seem as frightening as before. So, when he pulled onto my street, I turned toward him. “Do you want to come in?”

He sent me a sideways look. “Not if you’re planning to feed me to your big scary dog.”

“Walter can make up his own mind. It’s not for me to say who he should or shouldn’t eat.”

Junior grinned. “You seem worth the risk.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll come in.”

He dropped me off in front of the brownstone and went to find a parking space while I went to let my roommates know we were about to have company.

---