Page 31 of Release Me

My new roommate, my brother’s friend, an outdoor crew guy, a man whore. A guy I had sex with for the soul purpose of forgetting my ex. A guy who’s still in love withhisex.

I can’t believe I just had sex with him.

He slides out of me and checks the condom—I assume for holes. Seemingly satisfied, he pulls it off and reaches for a tissue.

I use that opportunity to bolt, grabbing my T-shirt on theway to the door. “Good night.” I duck out without a backward glance, not breathing until I’m behind my closed bedroom door.

My forehead hits my wall as a wave of shame washes over me.

Oh my God.

What have I done?

15.Ryan

Ipress my ear against the door, listening for the soft pad of Ronan’s bare feet. His alarm went off a few minutes ago. It’s an awful, blaring sound. I’m usually out for my daily jog when he wakes up, so I haven’t had the displeasure of hearing it until now.

But I skipped my jog this morning because I was afraid to risk facing him.

He didn’t even kiss me before he dove in.

Was that by choice or by omission, because I woke him up at 2:00 a.m. for surprise sex? I’ve heard of guys who don’t kiss. Guys who sleep around a lot and make it a habit ofnotkissing women on the mouth. I’m not going to fool myself into believing I’ve had Ronan all wrong and he isn’t a guy who fits that description.

“Dude! Hurry up, we’ve gotta leave soon.”

I roll my eyes at my brother even as my heart races. He says the same thing to Ronaneveryday.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ronan mumbles, his gravelly voice so coarse this morning, I can feel it skittering across my skin. That’s perfect, seeing as I can still feel where he was inside me too.

“You look rough, man. Didn’t you sleep?” Connor asks.

“I guess not.” A pause. “Where’s Ryan?”

“Probably out for a jog, burning off her anger issues. Why?”

My jaw clenches.Don’t you dare say a word about last night, you son of a bitch.

Maybe I’m imagining it, but I sense Ronan glancing over his shoulder at my closed door. I skitter back, afraid he’ll know I’m hiding back here, listening.

“No reason. I’ll be ready in fifteen.” A moment later, the bathroom door shuts.

I bury my face in my hands. I can’t believe I slept with him! I can’t believe I barged into his room, woke him up, and practically begged him to give it to me. I’m not that girl. I just lost my mind temporarily. I was blinded by my heartache, by his sexual innuendo, and that gorgeous face and intoxicating smirk.

Worse, I’m still waiting for the regret to kick in. Shame, yes, I have oodles of that, soaking into my bones. But if I was going to declare temporary insanity with anyone, something about Ronan feels right. For some bizarre, inexplicable reason, I trust the guy.

Just not enough to face him again.

“You’ll getthat staff report to me by noon?” Geraldine peers down at me from behind her glasses.

“Sure thing.”

With a nod, she moves on to the next line on her to-do list.

As far as bosses go, she’s tolerable. A bit of a micromanager, but I guess that comes with the territory of working with things like payroll, where missing details—a check box, an input cell—can mean someone doesn’t get paid.

“Hey.” Jean peeks around the corner of my cube. She’s in the one next to me. “So, Ronan is for sure going to Alaska.”

My stomach spasms, hearing that name. “Yeah, they booked their flights last night.” That’s not the only thing Ronan did last night. Am I stupid to believe he’ll keep quiet? It seemed like a no-brainer at the time, that Ronan wouldn’t be in a hurry to tell Connor. It’s not like Connor has ever given any indication that he’d care if I slept with our new roommate, but I can’t see howHey, I screwed your sister last nightwould slide smoothly out of Ronan’s mouth.

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