Page 61 of Middle of the Night

“Hate to break it to you, doofus, but you’re just as responsible for their well-being as I am. It’s called maturity. Look it up.”

As they bicker, Ethan stares at the road slicing like a knife through the forest. His parents don’t allow him to wander this far, and Ethan has never had the desire.

“Maybe we should head back,” he says, knowing they’re now a mile deep in the forest and run the risk of getting lost if they go any farther.

The others keep moving, crossing the road without a second ofhesitation. Even Billy, who appears to have forgotten about the car that almost just hit him. He now looks even more eager to get to the other side and explore the deepest, darkest regions of the forest. Pausing in the middle of the road, he turns to Ethan and says, “Are you coming?”

Ethan doesn’t know how to answer. Nothing about this afternoon has gone according to plan. He had simply wanted to hang out with Billy. He certainly didn’t think Russ or Ashley or Ragesh would be involved. He’s still confused as to why they’re here and nervous about what they collectively plan on doing.

“I think we should go back,” he says again, proud of himself for sounding more insistent this time.

But Billy’s completely across the road now, joining the others on the shoulder. Seeing his friend—hisbestfriend—standing with Ragesh, the guy who bullied his way into their group, and Russ, who he doesn’t even like, makes Ethan ache from betrayal. Billy should have sided with him. He should havestayedwith him. Yet there he is, impatiently shifting his weight to one leg and crossing his arms in an unconscious mimicry of Ragesh’s stance.

“We don’t have all day,” Ragesh says.

“Yeah,” Russ adds, sounding like a weak echo of the older boy.

Billy stares at him across the road, which is barely big enough to fit two cars yet feels as wide to Ethan as a river. “Come on,” he says. “I want to keep going.”

Ethan turns around, studying the expanse of forest they’ve already traveled, as if he can trace their path all the way back to his house, where his mother might still be crying. Faced with the unsettling memory of seeing her weep, Ethan knows he’s not yet ready to go back home.

“Fine,” he says. “I’m coming.”

Standing with his toes on the edge of the asphalt, Ethan looks both ways, even though there are no longer any cars near them. He’sabout to break one of his parents’ cardinal rules:Don’t go past the road.

He knows they’ll be mad if they find out.

No, not mad.

Furious.

They might even ground him, which has never happened precisely because Ethan knows it will be torture if it ever does. So he minds his manners and does his chores with only a minimum of complaining. In short, he behaves. But this? This is the opposite. It’s willful misbehavior.

And his parents can never, ever know.

“Then come on already,” Ragesh says.

Ethan nods, looks both ways once more, and then sprints like a startled deer over the road. The others are on the move before he’s all the way across, which makes him simultaneously sad and angry. Especially at Billy, who’s again taken the lead. Ethan thought they’d be walking together, the way best friends do. But Billy forges ahead like they barely know each other.

“It’s this way,” he says.

“What is?” Ethan asks, hoping the sound of his voice will remind Billy that he’s here, that it was just supposed to be the two of them. He considers the possibility that Billy’s also mad at him, likely because he let Russ tag along. If so, he doesn’t look too upset about it now as Russ marches right next to Billy. The spot whereheshould be, Ethan notes with bitterness.

“The Hawthorne Institute,” Billy says.

The answer is a surprise to Ethan, who has never set foot on the institute grounds and doesn’t think Billy has, either. Honestly, he didn’t think people could walk there. Ethan’s parents certainly don’t want him going there. Its existence is one of the reasons they forbade him from crossing the road in the woods.

Yet he’s now marching right toward it. The fact leaves him feelingso apprehensive that not even Ashley’s sudden presence at his side can lighten it.

“Hey,” she says. “You doing okay?”

Ethan gives a weak nod. “Yeah.”

“You know, you can tell me if you’re not,” Ashley says. “And if you want to turn back, I’ll go with you.”

The idea is both tempting and humiliating. While Ethan has no desire to keep going, he also doesn’t want to be the scaredy-cat who needs his babysitter to walk him home. What would Billy think of him? What would Ashley? Ethan worries that if he turns around now, it will somehow diminish his standing in their eyes. And while he doesn’t care what Ragesh or Russ think of him, the way Ashley and Billy see him matters.

“We can keep going,” he says.

---