Page 113 of The Ex Factor

Dad looked at me like I had completely lost my mind. Maybe I had.

“It felt like that. When I was busy chasing love, I didn’t find it. But when I buried myself in work, I was landed straight before Sujit.”

Dad frowned. All this talk of love and men was making him uncomfortable.

“Looks like you’ve made up your mind,” he said with a slight slump. “What are you asking of me?”

I stood up and retook my seat on the couch. I needed to look into his eyes when I told him this.

“I’ve made up my mind,” I began, “but I still haven’t told Sujit how I feel. I think he likes me, but we haven’t had the conversation. I said I’m willing to risk it all, but I have yet to find out if he is willing to do the same.”

He leaned forward in the chair. “You chose to speak to me before you find that out?”

“Because I need your blessing. You always say I’m your pride. But you are my pride too, Papa. You and Ma. I am proud to call you my parents. Your hard work, your ethics, these are the principles I’ve founded my life on. It’s not only that I don’t want to displease you, but I would never want to put you in a position where you can’t hold your head high.”

He looked away promptly as I spied a slight shimmer in his eyes. With rapid blinks, he tried to regain his composure.

“You’ve consulted me before making any major business decision in recent years. I’m asking that you trust me to make the right decision about my life.”

He rose and walked to me with small steps. I stood, and he gave me a quick hug. Then he put a hand on my shoulder and said, “I am not good with words like your mother, but I have always trusted you, Puttar. You know that. But I’m ashamed….” his voice trailed.

My heart sank. It appeared that my father shared Aakash’s fears after all. He was unwilling to let the stigma of my association with Sujit taint his name and business. It was a source of shame for him.

A tear threatened to gather in my eye. I had never cried before Dad. I was his strong Bachcha, molded in his image. I swallowed hard to push down all the emotions rising inside me, including a feeling of betrayal and shame. I wasn’t about to put his legacy at risk. I would kill all desire for love and happiness rather than malign the reputation of my hardworking parents. I hoped he knew that.

“I won’t do anything to risk our family or our business, Papa. I will remove myself from his life swiftly if you don’t approve of our relationship.”

Dad shook his head vigorously. “No,” he said. “That’s not what I meant.”

I took his hand in mine. “It is alright, Papa. I understand. I am not a regular woman who can live her life according to her own rules.” Like Tara, who could choose her own happiness. “I know I bear the burden of being the heiress to the Bhatia estate. You never have to worry about it, Papa. I will never put myself before our family’s repute…” my voice broke.

I stopped talking. I wasn’t going to let my father bear witness to the pain of my shattered heart. My broken life.

To my amazement, Dad grinned.He grinned!Blinding me with a dazzling look, the one that crinkled the skin around his aging eyes. He put a hand on my head and tapped twice.

“This is the reason you’re my pride, Puttar. I can always count on you to do the right thing. But I want you to count on me to do the right thing too. I’m ashamed…” He paused and let out a sad smile. “I’m ashamed that you think I wouldn’t risk absolutely everything to get you the happiness you deserve.”

This time, I allowed the tear to slip off my eye and down my face. A lone tear of a warrior who had won the battle. Dad patted the hand he held, and I swiped my tear away with the other.

“But I am worried,” he said and settled down on the couch. I lowered myself beside him. “A father can’t stand by and watchhis daughter’s heart being shattered.Again. What if this Sujit boy is unwilling to commit? You said he has as much to lose.”

The conviction that the two men I loved—my father and Sujit—had awakened in me rang through my strong voice. “Then it will be on me. It was my decision, and I am strong enough to weather the consequences. But if I give up without trying, it will be unfair to me.”

Papa nodded multiple times. “Your mother always said, if Aakash can do what he wants, Aarti also should be able to. If we didn’t object when Aakash chose his life partner, how can I deny you that right?” he said and let out a deep sigh. “I didn’t grow up thinking like that. Our family was very conservative, with strict gender roles and expectations. Women were not allowed to spread their wings and fly. My mother was a smart woman, but she remained buried in housework all her life. She could have been a world-class singer, but women were not allowed to sing in our household. She wanted to be one, but she made peace with her life.”

I had heard my grandmother sing, but I’d never given it much thought. Hearing my dad talk about his mother’s missed opportunities and her unfulfilled dreams put everything in perspective. Every generation of women benefitted from the struggles of the generations that came before them. I was benefiting from both my grandmother’s and my mother’s missed opportunities.

As if reading my thoughts, Dad said, “Your mother showed me the error of my ways. She could’ve been a powerful woman in her own name, but she chose to support me after we moved here. I regret it every single day. I would’ve loved to see her on stage with the world’s most influential women, but she isn’t there because of me. I feel more indebted to her than I can ever tell her.”

My mouth gaped at my father’s confessions. He was always guarded about his most intimate thoughts and feelings. Yet, here he was, spilling it out to me because he wanted to show me his faith in my happiness.

I squeezed his hand. He patted it and smiled. “Your mother made me a better person, and it looks like this Sujit has made you stronger, more firm in your beliefs. That is good.” He offered a pensive nod. “It is good,” he repeated.

I sat tongue-tied. In all of the scenarios that I had run through my head, none came close to what was unfolding before me right now. Papa and I had a close relationship, but it had been a silent, muted one. We knew how much we were loved and respected. We never had a reason to voice it as such. So whatever was emerging from my father’s mouth this evening felt like an aberration or an anomaly in the grand design of the universe. Either that or our relationship had just taken a beautiful turn.

I leaned in and hugged him. “Thank you, Papa. I won’t let you down,” I said with my head in the nook of his neck.

“I know you won’t, Puttar. I won’t let you down either. I know I did with Sameer, but I won’t make that mistake again.”

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