Page 28 of Stutter

“That’s-“

“Often found in strangulations? Yeah, we know.” I interrupt him again becausefuck him. Until he apologizes to my girl, he can choke on chode.

He stares at Raven in disbelief, as if he can’t fathom howshecould have done that if Chase had drowned. I asked, and when she told me he died with his face between her thighs, I decided that was the way I want to go, too. My girl keeps eating, watching everything unfold, not letting up on anything, just watching. Mostly him. His features. Most likely to see if he’s… afraid of her or in awe of her.

The right answer should bein awe of her.

“Did you have something to do with that?” He asks, obviously still unaware how anything happened but if a detective is stalking him, it’s best if he doesn’t know anything whatsoever.

“I did not,” I answer honestly. “But if I did, I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Because you don’t trust me.”

I put my chopsticks to the side, place a fist on the top of my thigh, place my forearm on the counter beside my bowl, and stare him down. “Because you have a cop tailing you. Or us. The less you know, the better. If something happens, and one of us is caught, I’ll personally see to it that Raven doesn’t go down for anything. I’d rather the Syndicate think it was one of their people placing hits and following through than her.”Because they’ll finish what they started. They’ll kill her.I don’t add.

“Because you love her.”

“Because none of us here are innocent. Because I’m fucking crazy about her. And she deserves freedom. They took away her life and she’s serving justice to those that wronged her. If you knew, Maverick, what one has to do to be initiated to theSyndicate, whatIhad to do, what I have done, and unfortunately what I will continue to have to do until I fuckingdie, even though I was against it from the beginning, then you wouldn’t question why I want the entire brotherhood eradicated as well. I only hope we take down as many as we can before something happens because it’s not if, it’swhen.” I can feel the muscles in my jaw ticking when I swallow the rest of what I want to say down, my Adam’s apple bobbing as my frustration subsides.

“So then tell me.”

I sit up straighter, squaring my shoulders back. “Tell you what?”

“About the Syndicate.”

“The less you know, the better.” I reiterate, picking my chopsticks back up even though my appetite is gone.

He seems to contemplate this, Raven’s adorable little bites into a crunchy bamboo stick are the only sounds as the silence lapses. He makes a bobbing notion with his head, blinking rapidly, biting his bottom lip, and letting it roll out slowly. “I took a look at some of the names in the binder Raven gave me… a lot of these are cold cases.Opencold cases. I could… I could help.”

I almost scoff. “This isn’t like the so-called Illuminati. Go outside of the state of Massachusetts and nobody will have heard of the Syndicate. Actually, let me correct myself. Go outside of the Salem city line and nobody will know what you’re talking about. This is how tight-knit the brotherhood is, Harrington.”

“Then tell me about it.” He grits out.

“Fine. Take off your shirt.”

“What?”

“Maybe this isn’t the right time,” Damon interjects but fuck this. He wants to know?

“Prove you’re not wearing a wire. Get your phone, put it under the seat cushion in the living room, and let’s fucking talk. Man-to-man,” I say, gesturing between us.

He gets up and does as I ask of him staying in my line of sight. His phone under the cushion first then comes back andtakes off his shirt, throwing it on the ground, then spinning in a slow circle with his arms out. I keep my face neutral when I see how tatted he is from his forearms to his chest, the scars on his back, are for sure bullet holes. He sits back down on the bar stool and arches a dark brow in my direction as if to say, ‘Happy now?’

Ecstatic. I reply telepathically. Suddenly I want to laugh because wow, Raven has really gotten under our skin if we can communicate with just body language, blinking, and eye rolls. But I keep my features in check, his eyes on me and mine on his as I begin to tell him everything about the Syndicate. About the different tiers in the brotherhood, how before being initiated it’s all about the thrill of the hunt, finding ingenious ways to get away with murder. Once the case officially turns cold or the coroner releases the body without abnormal findings or anything that could lead to a homicide case, that’s when you’re initiated. I tell him about how some commit their murder their freshman year and don’t get their cloaks until their senior year. The night they graduate from a black cloak to a red, they’re branded on the ribs.

When I tell him this and show him the brand on my ribcage, he pales, realizing that yes, I murdered someone and got away with it. What I don’t tell him is how I killed Jacob Cartwright, Paris, or their unborn child. That to me, is still my dirtiest secret. The one I’ll take to the grave, the one I know will never escape my future wife’s lips, and the one he doesn’tdeserveto know.

When I'm finished, his gaze shifts to Raven. “So there was a hit placed on you then?”

My girl, who has stopped eating, looks down and nods her head, inhaling before raising her hands. She looks pained, nervous about whatever she’s about to tell him, but Damon rubs her thigh, and I put my hand on the small of her back. I reassure her that she only has to tell him what she wants him to know, and Damon backs me up on that.

She asks him to translate for her, and her hands move more quickly.

I wasn’t expecting her to tell Maverick everything about the night of her attack, being in the asylum, being released intobi-weekend home visits after being at Lorne Wood Falls Mental Institution and weaning herself off her medication in order to think clearly, figuring out her night terrors were more, her loneliness, the isolation she felt, the depression, but she does. She doesn’t incriminate herself, but she also doesn’t claim herself as innocent.

Maverick looks sick the longer she signs and when she’s done, tears are welling on the rims of her eyes, threatening to fall but she shakes them away.

“At first, I didn’t think I could trust you. But then I realized, I didn’t want you to see me in a bad light because you… saw… me. All of you do. But you, you didn’t know my story and somehow knew what I needed, and then I fell in love with you, and the more I wanted to keep you away from all of this because I was selfish… and just wanted to be delusional in thinking it was all okay. Because when I was with you, it was just us and nothing else mattered. I was simply yours. The three of you make the extra noise in my head stop. And I… felt safe…alive.” Damon translates, his voice rasping on that last word and my heart breaks for her again, wanting to go to her so I can fix whatever he broke. I can do that for her. There may always be a Harrington-sized hole in her chest but over time, I’ll make sure he’s nothing but an afterthought.

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