Page 126 of Stutter

Because “Shadow” is starting to feel very real to me, too.

Chapter Thirty

Maverick.

It’s the fourth morning I wake to a silent home and a warm body cuddled next to me.

Her head on my chest, hand over my heart. The reminder of the last time I woke up like this, with snow accumulating on the windowpane makes me cringe internally. Except this time, the wind blowing isn’t as fierce, and this time, I’m not afraid of the way that I’m feeling about the girl in my arms.

I slide my hand down Raven’s ribcage, the silk of her negligee stops where her hip begins, her body is twisted and molded to the shape of mine and it feels exceptional, like we’re meant to be melded together like this for eternity.

She and I are forever – there is no future without her. She and I have so much to make up for still. Even if we were only apart for a few weeks, it felt like a lifetime. It'll never happen again. As much as she claims I helped her feel alive again, it was me that had been so dead inside. She blew on the dwindling ember that was my soul and sprinkled kindling around it, bring it back to a roaring fire.

Every time I even glance at my Siren, my angel, my everything… I see a woman that holds my soul in her hands, purposefully caring for it, continuously shaping it and remolding it, to fit hers. With my heart, she does the same, seeing all the inky parts of me, she accepts me as I am and hasn’t asked for more - only teaching me how to properly love her. Which I’m learning isn’t difficult at all. Even on days it should be difficult, it’s not.

I may have a collar on her, but she holds my leash, and I am unashamed that I’ve let her tame whatever beast resides in me, although she loves that same monster and continuously beckons him to come out and play. The little minx.

She hums softly in her sleep, and I tilt my head to gaze down at the woman who has changed my life. Whiskey eyes flutter open and when her gaze settles on mine she smiles, tucking the blanket under her chin adorably but shutting her eyes once more, throwing her thigh over mine and tucking her foot under my leg.

My life.

My love…

Has thecoldestfucking feet.

But I don’t move an inch.

I grab my phone, debating on sending an email to the administrator to let them know I won’t be in today, and that I’m sick. I have the flu. All lies. I have the energy to get through the day, although waking to find her here in bed with me after I stayed up until God knows what time, that she sought me out in the middle of the night tells me her mind was on me, her heart and body craved me and it’s such a simple thing, such a small, tiny thing, yet it means the world to me.

I could write sonnets about this woman and still, they wouldn’t compare to the way she makes me feel so loved and accepted. One look into her eyes and I know I’m wanted. Needed. Not just desired butcraved.

“I love you,” she mumbles sleepily and my heart pangs at the rasp in her voice.That’sthe first thing she thinks of saying to me every morning. Not good morning, doesn’t ask me how I slept. No, the first thing out of her mouthevery morningare those three simple little words pushed together that meaneverythingcoming from her.

“I love you, Siren,” I whisper back, clutching her closer to me, letting my knuckles go over the silver stripe at her templeand down the curve of her cheek to her jaw, only to push that silver strand of hair back behind her ear and kiss the top of her head.

She flicks her gaze down to her tatted wrist then hums happily, a smile branding her face, and she pushes up to kiss my cheek. That’s another thing she does – check her wrist consistently. Sitting up she gets out of bed and goes to my bathroom, closing the door. After a moment or two, she opens it, her hair now up in a messy knot atop her head, and she’s brushing her teeth, she spits and then crawls back into bed atop my comforter, laying down on me, her full weight on my body and it is so divine.

It is so divine to be loved by her.

Properly.

“What do you say… you and I going to New York today? Hmm?” She sits up, straddling me, and even over the blanket I can feel the warmth her cunt emits, my cock aching to feel it, but I hold back from rutting into her the way I need to. This is important. This is our future. She is my future. “Check out some properties? I’ve been looking at a few listing’s and-“

Her kiss comes out of nowhere, a squeal of happiness, her hands on either side of my face. She kisses all over me, stopping at my lips again, then runs her nose along mine once again satiated the beast inside me. I’m surprised I haven’t begun to purr.

I realize I would do anything to hold onto these moments.Anything.

She hasn’t gone back to RMU. Never re-enrolled, practicing non-stop for her audition to Julliard next week. As soon as we finish our workouts every morning, she’s upstairs, practicing. Kronos at her feet, snoozing. Lucifer creating hell and ensuing chaos downstairs and everywhere else the little demon cat can fit himself into.

It’s the sound of her cello I hear every day when I come home from RMU, the sound of Damon and Jonas chattering, and the scent of dinner already made unless Damon has to work late, and we order in.

It's a new routine.

One I’ve fallen into easily with no remorse.

I mean, I can’t exactly be unhappy with the way Damon is feeding me nor with the way Jonas has started training with me. I’ve felt stronger, more agile, and even have more stamina now than I did when I was younger. Feels as if all that anger I’ve held onto for so long has slowly disappeared and I feel almost weightless.

Raven breaks away from our small kisses and hands me my phone. I send a mass email to my students and cancel my lectures for the day then text Damon in case he’s left already to let him know to lie for me if Miss Overly asks. I don’t wait for his response, darkening my screen and tossing my phone back on my nightstand to throw my arms over Raven. I’ve gotten a second opportunity, and this time I’m staying.

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