Page 11 of Stutter

“You were thesoledoctor on her team, Damon. I knew your obsession with her was borderline possessive but I didn’tthink it was this bad, son. You could jeopardize your entire future. You worked hard to be where you were.”

Watching Damon get reamed by his father pleases me. What doesn’t please me is the way Damon’s demeanor sags.

“What’s the news then?”

Damon’s eyes darken to the color of a faded, forgotten tombstone. “I… found Maddie’s murderer…”

“What?” I decide I can’t watch Henry’s eyes well with tears, although unshed at his son’s revelation.

“And I took care of him.”

Henry deadpans at me.

“He knows.”

“Tell me everything, son.”

“First of all, you’ll love Raven. She’s the one that found the information that lead me to finding her killer.” And then, Damon begins his story. I latch on to every word, every syllable, not missing anything. He clues me in, telling me how his mother decided to stay in Paris, advocating not only for Maddie’s murder but those that went missing as well, pouring so much of her money and her energy into it, it tore their marriage apart.

When he’s done, and Damon reveals he has a ticket for his father already, Henry leaves to reschedule his patient’s surgeries and pack a bag that’s a little too full, as if he doesn’t plan on coming back.

_______

On the flight to Paris that evening, Henry is riddled with anxiety. “Twenty years since I’ve seen her.” he says, fiddling with a brochure in his bouncing lap.

“It’ll be okay, dad.”

“And if it’s not?” He snarls but Damon takes no offense.

“Then we still have each other and you can finally move on.”

“Nobody simplymovesonfrom Amelia Bordeaux.” The nervous Englishman replies softly. He remains fidgeting andquiet. Nervous to see the love of his life once more. Anxious, and possibly hopeful, that she still loves him – the way he loves her. Hasalwaysloved her. From the moment he saw tears in her eyes, pleading and praying over her little girl with a sick heart, to a silent god that often let those pleas go unanswered.

“She didn’t pray to God to heal Maddie,” he tells me, looking out the circular window as we sailed over the clouds. “Miaprayed for me and for time. For her God to steadily guide my hands. To cut and sew and stitch everything properly so Maddie would have a chance to live. Whether it be two days, two years or twenty. All she wanted was more time with her daughter.” He sighs, fogging the window. “I had asked her to wait for me. To not go to Paris until I could get a week or two off…” he shakes his head as he trails off, obviously shaking away the memories that plagued his mind every day.

“I had gained a wife and a daughter the day my Mia married me. I was the happiest man alive. Then Damon was born and no one could tell me I wasn’t the king of the world. They were my life. Coming home to a woman that seeks to be in your arms, that loathes being away from you, that brings peace when the rest of the world is full of chaos, and let me tell you, there were some nights after a hospital shift, or a surgery gone wrong – I wanted nothing but to melt into the ground and hide from the world, I melted into my Mia instead.”

He chuckles when he continues. “Although, with all that passion in her soul, there were timesshewas the chaos, all three of us vying for her attention, or the three of them vying for mine. But I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I never thought I wanted children, to be a father, and yet, I couldn’t imagine my life without Amelia. Maddie was a bonus, another little heart I held in my hands, literally and figuratively. When Damon came along, I felt complete.”

I don’t know if he realizes how close he’s hitting to home with me.

“But then I lost my wife and my little girl the same day. I may not have raised her from the day she was born, but she was mine nonetheless… I have been incomplete for twenty years.”

I stay silent, letting the older gentleman speak whatever words he needed to get off his chest. Because when he says, “if she brings you peace amongst the chaos, if she seeks to be in your arms even when you’re angry, either of you, if she choosesyouover and over again, looks at you like you’re the most interesting creature she’s ever set her eyes upon, even if she has no idea what you’re talking about, and loves you despite what a complete shite you are sometimes, you keep her. And you never let her go. A woman like that only comes once in a lifetime. She will love you so fiercely nothing will ever compare.”

I stay quiet.

My mind reeling, going back to the night I confronted her. How she fought to be in my arms when I pushed her away. How tears streamed down her face and she moved her jaw, opened her mouth to speak, and stammered the words, “I’m sorry,” swallowing as though every strained stutter was painful.

My heart sinks into the bottom of the Atlantic.

________

We arrive in Paris and get a taxi, then are shuttled to a small Parisian home on the outskirts of the city, and the front door opens, I understand what Henry means. An older, small petite brunette no taller than five foot two with silver eyes, a button nose, a gorgeous smile opens the door. While she’s ecstatic to see Damon, her eyes widen at the sight of me… and then Henry.

The longing, the sadness, the love after twenty years is still clearly there. “Henry.” She says, her accent full and beautiful it sounds like “Hon-ree.”

“Amelia.” He says with a rasp and steps away from my side and simply goes to her, taking her into his arms and kisses her deeply. Pulling away and I see they both have tears streaming down their faces. He speaks soft words to her only she can hear, never pulling his face away from hers completely, as if in a hypnotic trance only lovers have.

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