Page 59 of Tides of Fate

If Grayson says he wants him, he wants to believe it so much, but there is still evidence of when Grayson pushed him away.

He’s still confused.

“Then why didn’t you want to be with me outside? Or here?”

Nix hates that he sounds whiny—feels like an idiot when he’s had more wanted orgasms in the past two weeks than he has ever had, but he’s whining about Grayson’s.

But he can’t look away, checking for the smallest “tell” in his mate’s face.

Grayson groans and rubs his nose against Nix’s. “Yeah, well. You know our conversation outside? About kinks and stuff?”

Nodding, Nix brushes a soothing hand over Grayson’s chest.

And it hits him.

“Wait, is this one of those things?”

“Yeah. It’s unique to me in our family. I like to abstain from orgasms for as long as I can because when I do, they’re really strong. I like the way it makes me feel while I’m waiting. Like there’s an ache, and it’s pleasurable. After a while, it makes me feel sensitive and desperate…it’s crazy arousing.”

“You like to be horny and get hornier without coming, and then when you do, it blows your mind?”

It sounds…uncomfortable.

But Luca says you shouldn’t yuck someone else’s yum.

Grayson laughs. “That’s it, essentially. Finn calls it self-edging because I do it to myself. But some people like it when others do it to them. Gideon does it for Luca sometimes when he really needs it.”

Heat shoots straight to his core at that.

“Oh, that sounds…wow. Would they let me watch that?”

Nix imagines Luca, pink and sweaty, begging to come while Gideonmakes him wait.

“I think I should put it on my list of things to try, Gray.”

Chuckling, Grayson agrees. “I am sure they’d both be down for that. I’m sorry, though, about before. I should have explained to you right away why I wanted a break. It’s just that you push my control to the limits, and it takes a lot to focus. Gideon would have my balls for it if he knew. I’m sorry.”

It’s good that Grayson still wants him, and Nix will be ready when Grayson says he wants it. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready, right?”

Grayson squeezes him tightly. “You’ll be first to know.”

Good.

Like always, the absence of the fear makes him tired.

He’s relieved that at least Grayson still wants him, in spite of how Hayes used him.

Nix won’t forget to be grateful.

He is almost floaty with the knowledge of how lucky he is, that Grayson overlooks it.

“Love you, Gray. Thank you for explaining it to me. I’m lucky to have you.”

“It’s me who is lucky. Are you feeling better? Maybe we could sleep for an hour? Then we can get ready for dinner.”

Grayson rubs his nose in Nix’s hair.

“Lots better. Yeah, I’m tired now too. Gideon said he’s got big plans for tonight.”

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