Page 86 of Roommating

“He’s a blond, like you.”

“Dana Carvey is not a blond!”

“He’s closer to it than Mike Myers!”

While the two playfully argue back and forth, I lock eyes with Carley.

She places a hand on her heart and mouths, “Ca-yoot!”

I mouth back, “I know!” A smitten Marcia is an adorable sight to behold. If Adam were here, he’d grumble before grudgingly agreeing with me. I shake off the image and plant on a smile. “Have the best time, ladies!”

After the two leave, I refill my wineglass with the remains of the bottle of Riesling Sharon brought over and collapse onto the couch next to Carley. Rocket’s resting on the rug by our feet. Every once ina while, he sits up and makes sad eyes at me. I take a long sip of wine when my first thought is that he must miss Adam.

“Check this out,” Carley says, handing me her phone.

It’s an advertisement for anEmily in Parisguided tour in Paris. “Oh, this looks super fun!”

“It’s only thirty-nine dollars a person, but we can do an unofficial one if you want to save money.” Carley says this nonchalantly, as ifactinglike my coming along on her trip to Europe is a foregone conclusion will make it so.

“Hmm,” I mutter passive-aggressively.

“Think of it as your reward for winning!”

“Winning what?”

Carley looks at me funny and sweeps her arms around the living room. “The battle with Adam!”

My shoulders drop. “Oh. Right.”

Her forehead crinkles. “You’re here and he’s not. So why don’t you look happier?”

“Because he’s not here.” I whisper the words, hoping that if I say them quietly enough, evenImight not hear them.

Carley’s face falls. “Oh, fuck.”

My eyes tear up, no longer able to deny the undeniable. “I miss him, Carley.”

I’ve been focusing on all the positives but suspect they are secretly negatives. Sure, I can turn on the light when I use the bathroom at night, but it just makes it harder to fall back asleep. Watching television without Adam’s background commentary is boring. Studying in complete silence is overrated. In fact, the only true positive is that I don’t have to plan the timing of my number twos for when he’s out of smell-shot.

I sag against the couch cushion. “I keep telling myself it’s what I wanted, and it is, but I didn’t think he’d move toPhiladelphia.”

Carley leans in closer to me. “Movebackto Philadelphia, you mean?”

I rub my hands along my jeans. “While we were fighting, he… he said that if I moved out we could date for real. I assumed he was trying to manipulate me into surrendering.”I enjoyed every second of being your roommate. Every second.

She studies me. “Do you wish you did? Surrender, I mean?”

I take a sip of wine. “Of course not. And Marcia said herself that she didn’t want to live with him on a permanent basis because then she’d be a grandmother twenty-four seven instead of a queen.”

Carley places a hand over her heart. “I love that she called herself a queen!”

I chuckle. “She didn’t. I’m just paraphrasing. Anyway, I don’t wish I gave in, but I can’t help wondering,what if?”

She wraps an arm around me in a side hug. “Well, if ever you needed a European vacation, it’s now.”

I snort. “Of course you’d find a way to bring this back to your trip.”

“It’s my gift.” She kicks her foot against mine. “Just promise me you’ll think about it?”

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