Page 63 of Roommating

“You promised you’d both do the same with Tinge or Humble. Any progress?”

I freeze. “Um… I…”Don’t look at Adam. Don’t look at Adam.

“Let’s make a deal, Grams. I won’t ask about the himbos you swipe right on if you leave my sex life to me.”

Marcia leans forward in interest. “What’s a himbo?”

I take this one. “It’s basically a good-looking, most often big-muscle guy who you assume is a jerk because he’s jacked… you knowbrawny… but is actually sweet, naïve, and kind of empty between his ears. Like Jason onThe Good Place. Or Joey fromFriends.”

Marcia takes a sip of water. “And what makes you think I’m swiping right on Joey fromFriends? I’m just as likely to swipe right on Phoebe, who, come to think of it, is the female version of Joey. A herbo?” She giggles.

I can’t help joining in. The girlish sound coming from seasoned Marcia is delightful and charming, not to mention contagious.

Adam scowls at both of us.

Marcia sighs. “I’ve had a rough day and all I ask is that the three of us sit quietly and search for our soulmates on our mobile devices. Can you do that for an old lady?”

Adam smirks. “Oh, now you’re an ‘old lady’? How convenient.”

“It’s a perk of being eligible for Medicare.”

“Fine,” Adam says.

“What about you, Sabrina?” she asks.

I stand. “I actually have to shower and get ready for school.”

“You have plenty of time,” Adam says.

This is true, but scrolling the apps for potential dates and hookups next to the boy I fucked last night while he does the same is nota kink I’m into. Especially when I have no idea what he’s thinking about me. Was it a onetime thing to get it out of our systems, or something else? But I can’t very well say any of this right now, so I have no choice but to sit back down.

Marcia smiles smugly and turns to her phone, her blue Warby Parker glasses resting on the bridge of her nose.

I watch her for a bit… so serious… she takes her time before swiping in either direction, apparently reading each word of every profile. Unlike Adam, who is frantically scrolling left. Good. I hope his back-to-back left swipes are because it doesn’t matter how hot and DTF his matches are, he’s thinking about how good I am in bed and when he’d like to get me there again.

My lips curve halfway up before flattening when Adam’s fingers freeze. He’s staring at a profile as if considering swiping right. What could have him so captivated? Most bios are four sentences long accompanied with basic information about height, education level, and interests. It must be the pictures. My skin prickles with annoyance. He could at least have the decency not to match with another woman when I’m sitting right next to him.

Since two can play at this game, I open my phone to Bumble and a notification immediately comes up.

There are 4 amazing people on Bumble who think you’re amazing too. Swipe right to meet them.

Take that, Adam.

My first admirer is Douglas. He’s fifty-four.

Swipe left.

The next one is Jeremy. He’s twenty-six but double fisting a cigar in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Swipe left.

The third one is Dan. He’s twenty-eight and lives in Brooklyn. He’s cute and there’s nothing objectionable about his profile. I should swipe right. I glance at Adam. He’s back to rapid left swipes… no longer staring intently at one profile.

I return my focus to Dan and swipe left.

The fourth admirer is… my breath hitches. “Interesting.”

“See someone you like?” Marcia asks.

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