Page 87 of Someone Just Like You

Jude twisted his neck. “What he said. I’m sorry, Molly.”

“I was trying to be less buttoned up…”Less boring. “You sent me that text apologizing. I thought—”

“And I meant it! I said some shitty things and I couldn’t let them stand whether or not we stayed together. But if I’m perfect for you?” He licked his lips. “I need more time to think it over on my own. To make sure it’s right.”

“You need…” I swallowed. “Time?”

I had poured out my heart in front of his roommates. I used the L word many, many times. I’d showed how unprepared I could be. He was supposed to drag me to his bed. Not…this. My lungs instinctively filled with anger—my go-to response when we were at odds.

He nodded. “Yes. Time.” His hazel-with-blue-flecks eyes begged me to understand.

I was desperate to argue with him…to share what Nani had said about how our differences balanced us out. But letting my emotions get the better of me had never worked in the past.

“Absolutely. Take time. I’ll just…um…leave.” I looked pleadingly at Esther.Do not cry. Do NOT.

She jumped off the couch. “I’ll go with you.”

When I reached the door, I gave one final glance at Jude over my shoulder. He looked hesitant, regretful even, but surely not enough time had gone by yet to ask.

Instead I gave a pathetic little wave goodbye and followed Esther into the hallway.

Chapter Forty-One

After leaving Jude’s, Esther and I headed straight to Joshua Tree, an eighties-themed bar around the corner. Rather than sports games, massive flat screens above the bar displayed music videos circa MTV 1984. Currently, Madonna’s “Dress You Up” blared from the speakers while a throng of early twentysomethings danced in place, oblivious to the cheap house-brand alcohol spilling from their plastic cups onto the sticky floor.

“To thinking about it.” I slammed the Jack Daniel’s Honey shot down my throat, my tongue sticking out and head shaking involuntarily at the burn.

I signaled the bored-looking female bartender for another round. The mixed drinks here were weak and not worth the money. “I feel old,” I said to Esther, while scanning the makeshift dance floor. “How are we only in our mid-twenties and I feel old?”

“More likelatetwenties.” She smirked. “You, at least.”

I flipped her the bird but laughed. “One month, my friend.” Distraction over, I pounded another shot. “I’m such a simp.”

Esther wrapped her fist around her shot glass. “Why are you a simp? I’m not agreeing or disagreeing, mind you. Just curious.”

I didn’t bother to feign offense at her failure to immediately argue I was not, in fact, a simp. “I serenaded him with poetry! All because I assumed his apology meant he was ready to kiss and make up, and I wanted to do something fun and unexpected.Cringe.” I made a matching expression.

Esther downed her shot. “Your poem was adorbs. Textbook rom-com material with just a splash of cringe. I only felt an eensy bit of vicarious embarrassment on your behalf.”

“Thank goodness.” I made prayer hands sarcastically. “Name one rom-com where the grand gesture led to the love interest’s need tothink about it. What is there to think about?”

“Maybe it’s exactly what he said. As moved as he was by your speech, he doesn’t want to rush back into things without being completely sure it’s the right move.”

“But why would it be wrong?” I whined like a fourteen-year-old girl whose mom had just prohibited her from wearing a crop top to school. “Nani says I rein him in and he loosens me up. But maybe Jude doesn’t want to be reined in. He apologized for losing it on me about my ‘fucking plans,’ but didn’t actually take back what he said about my being a bore and a nag. What if my personality is a dealbreaker for him?”

Esther twisted her mouth as if contemplating. “Ishispersonality a dealbreaker foryou? That he’s so laid back about…well, everything, and you’re…” She looked at me tenderly. “Not?”

“I love him. Jude wouldn’t beJudewithout his built-in confidence that everything will work out. Does it make me twitchy sometimes? Yes! And it probably always will. It wouldn’t bemeotherwise. We only work if he loves me as I am too—plans and all. But what if he doesn’t?”

“I don’t know, Molly. I don’t know.” Her eyes went soft. “You love him, huh?”

“I made that abundantly obvious.” I slapped the bottom of the shot glass in an attempt to knock as much remaining liquid as possible into my mouth.

“Want me to try to get some intel from Jerry? I have methods of persuasion. One time—”

I held up a hand. “Please don’t.” I closed my eyes to wipe out the visual. “Imagine if you and Jerry go the distance while Jude and I implode? Although how much weirder is it for you to fall for adorkable Jerry than I for my mortal enemy? Jude Stark. JudeDesmondStark.”Desmondand Molly.I smiled for half a second, then groaned. “Oh, God.” I buried my head in my hands. “What if this has been a prank all along? His biggest one yet. Making Molly ‘Mole’ Blum fall for him so he could break my heart.” Bile rumbled in my throat at the possibility. Or it might have been the numerous shots I’d done on a somewhat empty stomach.Must cut myself off.

“Stop it. You’ve been together three months plus a month or two of courting with chicken soup, kitty feedings, and hair accessories. He even pulled his family into it. It’s a big commitment for a practical joke.”

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