Page 57 of The Boyfriend Swap

“It’s okay, Sid. I’m glad you did.”

“You are?”

Will coughed. “I just mean you shouldn’t feel bad. The Lanes treated me well. And I met up with some friends from high school. It was fun. No need to apologize.”

I sat up. “So…it wasn’t too awkward? Pretending to be Robyn’s boyfriend?”

Will seemed to hesitate, but then said, “I guess I’m a better actor than you give me credit for.”

“Well, that’s good.”

“I was wondering…” His voice dropped off.

“Yes?” I prayed he wouldn’t say he was curious if I’d sucked face with Perry. I really needed to own up to the kiss in person so he’d see in my eyes how sincerely remorseful I was. Would he forgive me, or would it be the end of us? I wasn’t ready to call it quits on our relationship, but I suspected it was already over and he just didn’t know it yet.

“What’s your favorite Christmas song? Did you ever watchMeet Me in St. Louis?”

I wiped my tired eyes. “Um, what?” He was talking too fast and sounded like a hyperactive second grader.

“It’s just, I don’t know much about…” He hesitated. “You know what, never mind. Can we talk more tomorrow? I’m beat.”

His mood swing hurt my tired and guilty heart. “Yeah. Me too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.”

“’Night.” I ended the call and placed my phone on the nightstand. I sat on the edge of my bed and buried my face in my hands. Had it really been less than a day since I’d woken up that morning? I was exhausted like I’d worked an entire week—with overtime.

Our dinner table had become the setting for an episode ofSteve Harvey, with me as the pathetic guest and my family as the experts with insight into my life love and all its dysfunctionalities. Blessedly, Perry’s impassioned speech had silenced the crowd and things returned to normal by the meat course—my dad bragged about a record-breaking victory in court, my mother complained about questionable new members of the Scarsdale Golf Club, and Aunt Edna knocked a bottle of La Faraona out of a server’s hand, causing the six-hundred-dollar Spanish red wine to spill all over the formal two-tone decorative tablecloth. My temporarily low-key—albeit tipsy—mother was nonplussed since the cloth was polyester and, therefore, machine washable. After dinner, Perry was forced to gently let down my aunts and uncles’ pleas to direct a group musical performance in favor of discussing his future with Marshall, and I avoided Aaron’s lecherous glances by pretending the catering staff needed me to oversee the cleanup. Two hours and change later, the night was in my rearview mirror and I had another Bellows’ Christmas celebration under my belt. As soon as the first guests went home, I shirked my hostess responsibility and escaped to my room.

I was about to get undressed when there was a knock on my door.

“Sid. It’s Perry. Can I come in?”

“I guess.”

He entered my room and closed the door behind him. Leaning against one of the tall white chests on either side of my vanity table, he raised his palms in the air. “Have at me. I deserve it.”

“Deserve what?” I kicked a black platform sandal off my right foot and then my left.

“What happened at dinner…what a shit show.”

Truer words had rarely been spoken.

Perry continued his excuses. “I swear I wasn’t trying to be an ass when I told Marshall we broke up. I figured, we’re going back to the city tomorrow anyway, why not drop the charade and enjoy the night? Honestly, I had no idea your family would attack you like that.” He shook his head in bewilderment. “They were like a swarm of flies.”

I snorted. “More like a pack of wolves.”

Shrugging, Perry said, “Anyway, I’m sorry.”

I had every reason to be infuriated with him, and I wished I was. What fun it would be to take Perry to task for his actions and watch him shrink into himself in guilt. But for the first time since we’d met, I couldn’t summon the anger emotion. I was angrier with myself than I was with him at this point. “It’s fine, Perry. What’s done is done, and if I’ve learned anything about you this week, it’s that you don’t always use the best judgment.” I smiled in spite of myself. “Now that you’re not my problem anymore, I can sort of see your charm.”

“Are you sure it’s not because we were almost…” He waggled his eyebrows. “…lovers?” His cocky grin quickly morphed into a frown. “Never mind.”

I rolled my eyes. “Speaking of misguided decisions, can we discuss how we’re going to handle this now so we don’t have to talk about it on the car ride home tomorrow? And maybe I’ll be able to fall asleep tonight?” I always slept better when I had a plan.

Perry paced the gray and white printed area rug that adorned my childhood bedroom’s wood floor. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell Robyn and Will. What they don’t know won’t hurt them, right?” He looked at me hopefully.

It wasn’t as if Perry’s suggestion hadn’t occurred to me. If we both agreed to take the secret to our graves, no one would get hurt and we could avoid twin nasty breakups. But how happy could I be lying to Will about something as major as cheating? Each time he mentioned Robyn, Perry, or even Christmas in general, I’d feel soiled. It wasn’t fair to him to continue as if nothing happened. “I can’t lie to Will,” I said firmly, trying to hide the regret in my voice.

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