Page 55 of The Boyfriend Swap

“What makes you think Perry even knows Jennifer Lawrence? His most impressive gig to date was a teeth-whitening commercial.” I knew it was a low blow, but my own blood relatives insinuating that Perry was too good for me was cruel too.

“And therein lies your problem,” Uncle Gil stated.

“Where are you going with this?” I asked.

“You’re too focused on the bottom line. You need to hone your nurturing side or you’ll never have a successful romantic relationship,” said Uncle Gil.

“I’ve never met anyone as competitive as you, Sidney,” Aunt Ruth agreed.

Cousin Lauren snorted. “Remember when you raced Patrick to see who could fold the origami box at my dad’s fiftieth birthday party at KOKU?”

“And then you dumped him when he beat you,” Uncle Gil added.

“We were barely even dating,” I protested to deaf ears as my family members continued to volley back and forth. I felt like a lab rat being scrutinized by a bunch of novice scientists.

Aunt Eileen asked, “Have you even had a real boyfriend since Jake?”

“If memory serves, she couldn’t handle both law school and a love life,” my dad said. “B&B thanks you for making the right choice.”

“You can blame yourself if she never settles down, Harvey. She gets her competitive nature from you,” my mom shouted across the table.

My stomach cramped like I’d been kicked in the gut—hard. I had no idea my family felt this way about me. It was too much all at once. Unable to hold it in any longer, I regarded Perry with my stoniest glare, but he wasn’t looking at me. His face had drained of color and he darted his eyes around the table in apparent shock. As if sensing me staring at him, he turned to me with a pained expression and mouthed, “I’m so sorry.” Rising from his seat, he said, “Hey now. Christmas is supposed to be about kindness toward all men, which I assume includes women like Sidney here.” He gestured toward me before addressing the other guests again. “Sidney is an amazing woman who deserves your support in this difficult time. Our breakup is a private matter, but I assure you it has nothing to do with any shortcoming on her part.” He sat back down.

Marshall was the first to break the silence by clapping, but soon everyone joined in a standing ovation I assumed was aimed at Perry’s heartfelt speech. Everyone, that is, except me. I used the opportunity to take ownership of the one remaining crescent roll. Too bad I’d lost my appetite.

Robyn

After we’d finished dinner and dessert and my grandparents went home, the rest of us hung out in the family room, hoping a glass or two of Lambrusco would aid in our digestion of more food than any of us usually ate in two days.Meet Me in St. Louisaired on the muted television while the annual Christmas soundtrack played on the stereo. When Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” came on for at least the third time and none of us could complete a sentence without pausing to yawn, the night came to a close. Jordy was the first to excuse himself to bed, but when I caught Will fighting to keep his eyes open, I knew it was time to call it.

The remaining four of us climbed the stairs to the second floor and stopped in the hallway before going to our respective rooms. “Goodnight, guys. Dinner was awesome.” I kissed my mom on the cheek. “And thank you both so much for my present. I love it.” I embraced my dad, squeezing tightly. My parents had bought me a Roland V-Synth Synthesizer. I didn’t have room in my apartment for a full-sized piano and relied on the one at work. With a keyboard at home, I wouldn’t be limited to playing songs only appropriate for the under-thirteen crowd, and I might even succeed in writing an original song for something other than a school concert. I worried it was too expensive, but they’d assured me they found a good deal on eBay.

“Our pleasure, Snow White,” my dad said before glancing conspiratorially at Will. I watched them share a smile.

“We hope you enjoyed yourself, Will,” my mom said. “Robyn seems to think we’re a tough crowd. Don’t you, sweetheart?”

My cheeks warmed. “Not tough, but unrelenting. Suppose Will wasn’t a music lover. This night would have been super awkward for him.”And me.

“Anyone who doesn’t love music deserves to feel awkward,” my dad said.

Will chuckled. “True story.”

I’d lost count of how many times my mom had beamed at Will over the course of the weekend, but she did it again. “I like this guy.”

I shook my head at her but smiled. “I couldn’t tell.”

Extending his hand to my dad, Will said, “Thanks so much for including me. I had such a great time.” He hugged my mom, who mouthed, “Love this guy” over his shoulder.

I feared she wasn’t alone in that emotion and my stomach plunged. He’d go back to his life with Sidney after tomorrow, and there was no reason for us to see each other again. I didn’t know what Will was thinking, but even though nine years had passed since I watched him drive away to college, I felt the same now as I did then—heartbroken.

A few minutes later, Will and I lay side by side in silence under the girly purple and white polka dot ruffled comforter I’d delighted in as teenager and wished I could still get away with in my twenties. We only had one more sleep before we’d return to the city and our regular lives, and I wanted to say something before it was too late, but I didn’t know where to start. If I admitted my high school crush on him had returned with a vengeance worthy of a sappy Hallmark movie, would he say he had feelings for me too? Or was I destined to play the part of the lovestruck teenager pining for the unattainable “it” boy through my twenties too?

Going straight to bed was probably for the best. Declaring my romantic interest in Will before officially ending my relationship with Perry was a bad omen, not to mention not very fair to Perry. There was also Sidney to consider. Actively coveting another woman’s man broke the unspoken girl code. It could also put my living situation in jeopardy, since Anne Marie idolized Sidney and probably wouldn’t support my trying to steal her boss’s boyfriend. I groaned to myself in frustration. My Fairy Godmother was doing a crappy job of looking after Snow White right now.

The still of the room was truncated by a quiet chuckle originating from Will’s side of the bed. It stopped suddenly. I wondered if he was laughing in his sleep, but then he did it again. “Did I miss something?” I asked, happy for the excuse to initiate conversation.

“I was thinking about your grandparents’ reaction to you dating a ‘regular’ person,” Will said before laughing again.

I groaned again, this time out loud. “I know. If I brought Perry or any of my exes, rest assured someone would mention before the curtain came down on the day how predictable I was for dating an actor or a musician. This time, I brought you, a lawyer and the complete opposite of my usual type, and we’re lucky neither Nana nor Pop Pop went into cardiogenic shock.” I’d join in Will’s mirth if I found it remotely as humorous as he did.

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