Page 25 of The Boyfriend Swap

“Adrienne,” Will said.

“Right, Adrienne!” my mom chirped.

I looked frantically around the room for an escape route. My spot at the table was the farthest from the front door, and I’d have to squeeze past Will to get to the back patio. Realizing I was trapped in this hell, I scrutinized the remaining piece of tomato in my salad. Such a vibrant shade of red. Almost too pretty to eat.

“I think you might have been the last guy Robyn crushed on before her silly infatuation with actors and musicians began, but if anyone could make her do away with her stubborn insistence on only dating people with SAG cards, it would be you,” my mom said.

I looked up from my plate. “Not everyone I’ve dated had a SAG card, Mom. What about Terry?”

There was no recognition on my mom’s face. “Which one was Terry?”

Answering for me, Jordy said, “The photographer.”

“Speaking of Terry, what happened toPerry?” my dad asked.

Time stopped for a beat as my mind went blank. I was so worried about creating a believable “meet cute” for me and Will that I forgot to come up with an explanation for ending things with Perry. “It didn’t work out,” I said plainly, only afterward realizing I wouldn’t be able to use the same excuse for Will.

“Good riddance,” my mom said in unison with my dad.

Will’s laugh quickly turned into a cough when I kicked him under the table.

“How do you really feel?” I mumbled under my breath. My pulse raced, but I squashed the temptation to defend Perry. On the bright side, my folks’ harsh response served to minimize the guilt I felt over lying to them. Clearly, Perry was better off elsewhere. I wondered what they were doing right now and felt a pang of homesickness for my boyfriend. I hoped Sidney’s family was more welcoming towards him. If all went according to Sidney’s plan, her parents would barely acknowledge Perry’s existence. She was so lucky.

Conversation blessedly shifted to another topic, and forty minutes later I had recovered, at least temporarily, from what would undoubtedly go down as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I just hoped Will wouldn’t mention it again when we were alone.

After the table was cleared and the dishwasher was full, my mom leaned against the refrigerator and pointed at Will, who was still sitting at the table. “Did Robyn tell you about the Lane family tradition, Will?”

“She has not.” He walked over to me and took my hand. “But clearly there are a lot of things your daughter hasn’t told me about. Right, Robyn?” Ignoring my fingernails digging into his palm, he kept his eyes on my mom. “Tell me about this tradition.”

“Do you sing?” my mom asked.

“If you can call it that,” I mumbled.

Will drew me close to him and whispered, “Keep that up and I might cry.”

Clearly thinking she had one over on me, my mom grinned. “A lawyer who sings. Imagine that. I told you so.”

“Wait until you hear him, Mom.” I smiled teasingly at Will and he winked at me. With any luck, my parents’ discouragement of my dating choices would backfire after they did. They might even welcome Perry with wide open arms. Well, probably not Perry, but at least musical types in general.

Sidney

“What wasthat?” I hissed as Perry followed me to the guest room where he’d be sleeping. Thankfully, my parents were way too conservative to let my boyfriend sleep in the same room as me unless we were engaged. I’d shared a bed with far less attractive men than Perry—mostly during my wild and not very discerning stage after breaking things off with Jake—but I had no desire to spend more time in Perry’s company unless I was boinking him. After being in his company for the last three hours, I reckoned he must be fabulous in bed for Robyn to put up with his enormous ego. Since I wasn’t to know, I wanted him as far away from me as possible after lights out. And he snored. I could not tolerate a bed partner who snored, even one who managed to do it in perfect pitch.

“What waswhat?” Perry said, almost banging into me when I stopped at the room my mother reserved for him down the hall from mine.

I glared at him before turning on the light. After he joined me inside, I closed the door behind us. “That bizarre story you concocted. About me asking for your autograph.” I folded my arms across my chest.

Perry took in the room he’d call home for the next few nights. “It will do,” he said with a cheesy grin before sitting on the edge of the white four-poster full-sized bed and tapping his large feet against the black-stained hardwood floor.

I bent down and picked a piece of lint off the gray and white spotted area rug before leaning against the antique dresser. “I’m so glad you approve. Now answer my question.”

“What about it? Your parents totally bought it.”

I clenched my fists. “So not the point. I had a story. They asked how we met and I responded. It was asked, answered, and done. Why’d you mess with it?”

“Because your version was boring.” He yawned as if emphasizing his point.

How he could still be tired after napping for half of the ride was beyond me. He’d never survive as a lawyer. “Not everything needs to be exciting.” Certainly not the origin of our fake relationship, which was supposed to be of no interest to my father whatsoever. “It’s too late now, but moving forward, follow my lead. Can you do that?”

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