Page 64 of The Boyfriend Swap

Lisa snorted. “You told me to say the first thing that came to mind.” In a softer voice, she asked, “How are you doing with the breakup? Are you going to call Will?”

I squeezed the smiley face stress ball I kept by my bed. “There’s no point. I really messed things up, and losing him is the price I have to pay. Maybe I’ll feel differently when it all sinks in, but I don’t think Will was the one anyway. If such a concept even exists outside of Hallmark movies. Speaking of which, how was Meat Guy?” After receiving Lisa’s virtual spanking, I needed a break from my own drama.

“Meat Guy, also known as Evan, was actually kind of cool.”

My eyes opened wide. “You mean Frank got it right for once?”

“It’s too soon to say we’ll be starring in our own Hallmark movie, but a one-on-one date is not out of the question.”

“He didn’t smell like roast beef?” I put the phone on speaker so I could simultaneously unpack my suitcase.

Lisa laughed. “If he did, it was in a good way.”

“Cute?”

“Very.” I could hear her smiling as she said this.

“Go Frank. Keep me posted.”

“Will do.”

“Is Jake married?” I held my breath. Will definitely wasn’t the one if instead of sobbing into a gallon of Häagen-Dazs over his dumping me, I was sweating another ex-boyfriend’s marital status.

“Jake who?” Lisa asked before answering her own question a second later. “Jake Harrington?”

“Yes, JakeHarrington. What other Jake is there?” The simple question took more effort to ask than I’d ever admit. My heart was beating as quickly as if I’d just sprinted to the finish line in a 5K run. “I saw a picture of him with kids and was wondering if they were his.”No big deal.

“Yes. He got married a couple of years ago.”

My stomach dropped. “So those boys in the picture…are his?” I kicked the suitcase against the wall and sat on the edge of my bed. I’d do it tomorrow.

“They had twins.” Lisa was quiet for a moment. “You’re not upset about it, are you? I never told you because I didn’t think you’d care.”

I closed my eyes and contemplated my answer. What would be the big deal in admitting I might have made a mistake? Lisa, of all people, wouldn’t judge me. Before I could change my mind, I blurted out, “I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately and wondering if I blew it.”

“How do you think you blew it?”

“My ambition. In the battle between my grades and love life, my grades won every time. Maybe I was misguided.” I pinched my lips together.

“For one thing, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to make the most of a very expensive Ivy League education. Your dad had some high expectations of you joining the family practice. And let’s not forget Jake was yourcollegeboyfriend. College relationships rarely make it to the altar.”

It would have been so easy to accept Lisa’s answer and let go of any responsibility I held for the failure of my relationship with Jake, but something was nagging at me. The floodgates had opened and I couldn’t let it go. “How do you explain the rest of my relationships not going anywhere?”

“I can’t.”

“My family thinks my drive to succeed impedes my ability to fall in love. Do you agree?” I held my breath. Maybe she’d say no. My relationship with Will ended prematurely, but at least it hadn’t been contentious while it lasted.

“Honest answer?”

Her need to ask my permission to voice her true opinion wasn’t a good sign. “Obviously.”

“I don’t think you blew it with Jake, but—”

“But?”

“Butuntil now, I had no idea you even cared about finding someone special. Whenever you talk about a guy you’re dating, you’ll tell me how cute he is or how great he is in bed, but nothing else. You even kept Will at arm’s length by refusing to introduce him to your parents. Kind of extreme. I just assumed you weren’t looking for anything deep. Are you?”

“Yes. No? I think so.” I scratched my head in frustration. “I don’t know.”

---