Page 48 of The Boyfriend Swap

Sidney

Perry was gesticulating wildly toward my Aunt Eileen, no doubt regaling her with some whimsical anecdote about his life as a struggling actor. I snuck up behind him, stood on my tippy toes, and kissed the nape of his neck. “Merry Christmas, babe.” As much as I preferred my time without Perry to my timewithhim, there was only one more day and a single sleep ahead of me before this nightmare of a holiday would be over. I could play the part of the doting girlfriend for twenty-four hours. It was preferable to being recruited by my dad to put in pre-Christmas billable hours.One more day.

Aunt Eileen beamed at me. “Perry wants to direct a group performance of ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’ later and said he’d upload it to his YouTube channel. Isn’t that exciting? We’ll be famous,” she yelped before clamping a hand on Perry’s shoulder.

My first thought was:Perry has a YouTube channel?My second thought was:Ofcoursehe does. My last thought was:My father would take down the video faster than Perry could unhook a co-ed’s bra.The year before, a Canadian law firm posted a video of the flash mob their attorneys had performed at the Toronto Eaton Centre mall during the holidays. It went viral and there was some buzz at B&B about organizing something similar. My father and Stan called a special meeting, making it clear that any employee who thought making an ass out of himself on social media reflected well on Bellows and Burke could hand in his resignation now. While firing his sisters wasn’t an option, there was nothing to stop him from cutting them out of his will. “My sweetie’s got lots of brilliant ideas up his sleeve. Don’t you, gorgeous?” I said before planting a kiss on his perfectly scruffy cheek. If I didn’t know better, I’d think Perry hired a professional to groom his five o’clock shadow.

Without looking me in the eye, Perry said, “If you say so.” Glancing at his almost-empty glass, he muttered, “I need another Bloody Mary,” and with a parting wink at Aunt Eileen, he walked toward the bar on the other side of the room.

I stared after him with my mouth ajar. What was with the ’tude?

“He’s really something, Sidney. Think about how gorgeous your children will be.”

I turned my attention away from Perry’s rushed voyage to refill his drink and back to my aunt. Forcing a chuckle, I said, “Let’s not get carried away. We’re a long way from having kids.”As in, maybe in another life.

Aunt Eileen glanced fondly in Perry’s direction while running a hand through the shoulder-length curly blonde hair she’d worn in the same style for as long as I could remember. “Still. He’s quite charismatic.” Skimming the room, she said, “At least you don’t have to worry about competition at one of my brother’s affairs.” She wrinkled her nose. “Although Barbara told me one of his business colleagues is dating someone even younger than you.”

“Aaron Davenport. And he left his girlfriend at home.”Or with the babysitter.

Aunt Eileen clapped. “Thank goodness for small favors. Truth be told, I haven’t liked any of your boyfriends since Jake, but Perry is so magnetic. And talented. Imagine if he won a Tony award.”

Awhat?“Did he tell you he was nominated for one?” Perry had proven to be prone to exaggeration, but blatant lying seemed out of character even for him. And why did she have to mention Jake?

Aunt Eileen’s jade-green eyes bugged out. “No, he didn’t. That’s amazing news. I’ll have to congratulate him later,” she said before scurrying off toward Uncle Gil.

I shook my head like there was water in my ears, trying to make sense of the preceding conversation and how much liquor my aunt had ingested to believe Perry—who had never even been in a real Broadway show—could possibly be eligible for a Tony nomination. Whatever. I followed him to the bar, where he was talking to my dad. I inhaled deeply through my nose and let it out slowly, reminding myself this wasn’t real and no matter how keen my father was on Perry, it would be over soon. My parents survived the Jake breakup; they’d live through the impending disappearance of Perry from my life too. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, but when the time was right, I’d say, “It didn’t work out.” Then I’d strategically change the subject to something neither of them could resist, like which attorneys at the firm were assigned “Super Lawyer” status and the new trends I found for party planning on Pinterest.

I came up from behind the two of them and tapped Perry on the arm. “Please don’t tell me you’re dissing my vocal skills again. I might be persuaded to prove you wrong with a little ditty later.”

“We weren’t discussing you at all,” Perry said dryly.

“I was urging Perry to try the Glenfiddich 1937. He said he’s more of a Tito’s vodka man, but I told him the Scotch would take the edge off,” my dad said.

“I’m not sure even the finest Scotch could heal what currently ails me.” He gave me a pointed look and then turned back to my father. “Career-related stress.”

“Well, hopefully you’ll make some connections tonight.” My dad glanced over my shoulder. “I see someone I need to speak to.” With a pat on each of our shoulders, he said, “Enjoy yourselves,” and excused himself.

The tension in the air was as thick as San Francisco smog. I opened my mouth to tell Perry we should make the best of the night, but before I got the words out, he walked away. I closed my mouth as fast as I could, but not before I made eye contact with Aunt Eileen. She frowned at me and mouthed, “Everything all right?” before jutting her head toward Perry. This was the second time she’d seen Perry run away from me, and I didn’t enjoy being made a fool. I grinned and waved her off.

An hour or so later, I had made my rounds, greeting some of my father’s business associates and doing my best to charm the hopefuls to send some business to Bellows and Burke. The hot hors d’oeuvres had been released and the guests, particularly those who were imbibing too quickly to consider their calorie intake, flocked to the catering staff as if the trays contained weapons and they were contestants inThe Hunger Gamesdesperate to kill before being killed. With most of the guests enveloping the waiters, it was easy to spot Perry standing off to the right, conversing with our family accountant and her husband.

I joined his conversation of three and said, “Merry Christmas, Jill. You too, Rod,” before leaning in to give them both a kiss. “I see you’ve met my boyfriend, Perry.”

“Yes, he’s been telling us about his health coverage through SAG,” Jill said with bright eyes.

“Hearing it from a real actor’s perspective is quite eye opening,” Rod agreed with a nod.

I rubbed Perry’s elbow with two fingers. “In a good way, I hope.” This was his opportunity to make up for blowing me off earlier.

While slickly removing himself from my light grip, Perry responded, “Aside from losing sleep wondering whether I’ll meet the minimum earnings required to remain eligible, it’s a dream.” Smiling warmly at Jill and Rod, he said, “If you’ll excuse me, I see a tray of lamb sliders with my name on it, but I hope you’ll stick around to hear me play the piano later.”

“We wouldn’t miss it,” Jill said.

“Great,” Perry said before glaring at me and walking away.

Jill and Rod gave each other curious glances, and we stood for a moment in silence. Hoping they didn’t notice the smoke coming out of my ears, I unclenched my fists and held my head up high. “I should make my rounds before my father accuses me of shirking my hostess responsibilities. Enjoy yourselves.”

I let out an audible sigh of frustration before quickly planting on a smile for the benefit of my similarly aged but married cousin Lauren—Aunt Eileen and Uncle Gil’s daughter—who, from the way she was frowning at me, had witnessed the scene with Perry. “We had a bit of a tiff last night and he’s holding a grudge,” I confessed. Rolling my eyes, I said, “Typical man.”

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