Page 11 of The Boyfriend Swap

Perry waved his hand and said, “None taken” before turning to me. “They do?”

I nodded reluctantly. “They bug me constantly about it and have done so right in front of old boyfriend’s faces, even yours. Just last month, they tried to bribe me with orchestra-seat tickets toIn Transiton Broadway. I was dying to see the first fully acapella show and they knew it. When I refused to take my mom’s colleague’s son, a doctor, as my date, the tickets magically disappeared.” I grimaced. “They have no shame, and I’m sick of it. It’s nothing personal.” I frowned and patted his leg reassuringly under the table, even though I probably needed the comfort more than him. He was like Teflon—nothing stuck. “They wish I’d date someone with a boring steady job for a change.” I looked at Will and winced. “No offense.” The irony of my past infatuation with Will given his current career choice dawned on me, and I giggled. Realizing no one else was in on my joke, I slapped a hand against my mouth.

Will regarded me with a crinkled brow. “None taken. I think. But what does this have to do with you, Sid?” He placed his hand over hers on the table.

Sidney gazed up at him from under her long eyelashes. “I have the opposite problem. If I bring home an attorney, or anyone whose business could potentially require a high-priced lawyer, my father will turn the entire holiday into an RFP.” For mine and Perry’s benefit, she clarified, “A request for proposal. Basically he’ll pitch his services to you all weekend.” She faced Will again. “If I bring you, my dad will brag nonstop about B&B and either rag on your firm and all the reasons he thinks it’s inferior to ours, or he’ll try to hire you. And when I say ‘nonstop,’ I meannonstop.” She shuddered. “I can’t do it.”

Will shrugged. “Then I’ll stay in the city. I already told you I don’t care what I do for Christmas.”

“No,” Sidney said so loudly, she drew the attention of the neighboring tables.

Chuckling, Will said, “What’s the big deal, babe?”

Sidney sighed dramatically. “If I go alone, my mom will whore me out to all the single men at the party.” Probably noting Will’s horrified expression, she added, “Herintentions are PG. I’m not so sure about theirs. I have to take a date. I just don’t want to take you.” She patted down a hair on his head. “No offense.”

I wondered if we were going to spend the entire evening apologizing for possibly offending one another and tried not to laugh again.

“And besides, if you stay home, where does that leave Robyn and Perry?” she asked.

Perry raised his hand and, after swallowing the popcorn in his mouth, said, “For the kids at home, what does any of this have to do with me?”

She pointed her fork at Perry. “Robyn and I think it would be best for all of us if she took Will home as her date and I took Perry. That way, Robyn is dating a businessman who has health insurance and a 401(k), and I bring someone of absolutely no interest to my father’s business.” She looked at Perry. “Still no offense.”

“Can you please backtrack? You said it would be best forallof us. How is this idea good for me or Perry?” Will asked.

“I’ll find a way to make it up to you, Brady,” Sidney said, adopting a sensuous, throaty voice.

Will rolled his eyes but chuckled, while I shook off the unwanted visual of him having sex with Sidney.

“What about me?” Perry asked.

Sidney raised an eyebrow at Perry. “You want me to make it up to you too?”

Perry smirked. “Not exactly, sweetheart, but thanks for the offer. What I mean is there’s nothing Robyn here can bribe me with that she doesn’t already deliver willingly.”

I shielded my face with a menu to hide my embarrassment. When I put it down, Will was watching me with an amused expression. I slapped Perry on the leg. “Be serious, Perry.”

“I was looking forward to Chrismukkah at the Lane house. I thought you were going to accompany me on the piano. I sing, you play. Remember?” Perry asked.

Will pointed at me. “Robyn’s a great singer too.”

“Thank you,” I croaked out before grimacing with embarrassment. If he only knew how often I thought of him when I belted out songs of unrequited love and yearning back in the day.

Sidney tapped a knife against her glass. “I still have the floor.”

The three of us stopped talking and focused our attention on Sidney.

“I’ve been listening to what you’re saying, and I might be able to sweeten the pot,” Sidney said to Perry.

At once eager and wary to hear what idea she had percolating in her devious brain, I leaned forward.

Perry mirrored my body language. “Go on,” he prodded.

Sidney grinned—the same evil smile she honored me with the night of the wine tasting party when she talked me into this crazy scheme in the first place. “Robyn comes from a household of singers. AtherChristmas, you’ll be one of many fighting for your turn with the mic.”

Perry glanced at me questioningly.

I had a feeling where this was going and nodded. “This is true.”

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